Waiting – Take 1

You arrive for an appointment and the person you are meeting is on the telephone. They wave you into the office. You go in, and sit in front of their desk and listen to them talk, feeling uncomfortable. You are uncomfortable both because you have to wait, and because you seem to be eavesdropping on their call.

Finally, they start to make apologetic motions, but they continue the conversation. You begin to get irritated, because you had an appointment and they should not have taken the call in the first place. By the time they hang up, you are pretty hostile. The meeting goes poorly. You leave, and you spend the rest of the day irritated. Read the rest »

I am not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but the first day of year is as good as any to make a decision to change your work arrangement. If you find yourself stressed on a daily basis, or you feel guilty because you have missed important events for your kids or too many family dinners; the New Year may give you the inspiration to re-think your career priorities and start working on negotiating or finding a work arrangement that works for you and your family.

Not everyone needs the same thing when it comes to work and family balance. The key is to figure out your priorities in both your career and your home life, and then think creatively of how you can create a work arrangement that allows you to meet those priorities. Some strategies you can pursue: Read the rest »

When we started selling our house and looking for a new one last year, I drew upon my years of therapy training and experience and my well-honed instincts and sat down with my almost four-year old twins and explained to them that we were looking for a new house. Every weekend we were going to be having open houses as well as looking for our new home. I didn’t want my children to get stressed out by what they were seeing, all the strange people, all of the talk of a new home. I wanted them to understand what was happening all around them.

That was easily my biggest mistake in the moving process.

My children – especially my little girl – became so stressed, so anxious, I’m not sure she has been the same since. She became afraid to go to school in the morning, afraid every time we left, afraid we were going to move without her, afraid she would be all alone, afraid she would not have a bed to sleep in. She became afraid to go to sleep at night and began having trouble sleeping through the night, waking up with nightmares. It was horrible and I felt terrible. I knew my talk had actually made everything worse for her instead of easier. Read the rest »

Many companies have found that having a family friendly work environment is good PR. That is, a company can garner great public attention with policies and programs supporting working parents. Whether the company makes a national list such as Working Mother Magazine’s top employers, or a write-up in the local paper, the recognition helps an employer attract new workers, and also builds public support for the company.

Unfortunately in reality, many organizations don’t live up to their family friendly claims. The policies exist, but are not actually utilized in the company. For example, some companies offer a flexible schedule option, but only with the boss’s approval. If your manager doesn’t believe in flexible work, you don’t get the option. Or, your career progress is delayed if you ask for a flexible option. Read the rest »

People behave in predictable ways. If you study your co-workers for several years, you will begin to notice patterns in their behaviors.

You will find that you co-workers are either:

1. Mostly concerned about procedures
2. Mostly concerned about people, or
3. Mostly concerned about themselves

Those mostly concerned about people are the type that I call sensitive. Read the rest »

If you are a stay-at-home parent looking to return to the outside workforce, you know you have a difficult road ahead of you. A big challenge in the process is talking about your time at home in the job interview. During my HR career, I have interviewed many parents trying to re-enter the workforce and I can tell you, how you talk about your time at home is extremely important to your success in getting a job. Read the rest »

In most human interactions, people think about each activity as it affects them, rather than how it affects the other person. Interviewing for jobs is just like that.

The interviewee is trying to convince the interviewer that they are perfect for the job, even if they are not.

The interviewer is looking to quickly find a person who will be able to do all of the aspects of the open position, without any training.

Neither of these goals is attainable. In reality, both sides should simply be checking to see if their personalities are compatible, so that they will be able to work together. Read the rest »