Clever Parents » Dogs & Storks

Dogs & Storks: Playdates and dogs. What you need to know.

Jennifer — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:00:10 +0000

Karen’s daughter Emma asked to visit at a friend’s house. Karen knows the family well and enjoys visiting too. Arrangements are made and the date is set. Emma is eagerly planning her visit, what to bring, share, wear etc. .This is something all kids love! What is better then playing at someone else’s house when you’re a kid? Different toys, games and rules! What fun.

Karen begins to regret that the play date is several days away as Emma asks her every hour in anticipation “when is it again Mom?” Karen assures her that the day is coming and time will pass quickly and suggests Emma makes a card or picture for her friend.

Finally! The morning of the long anticipated play date has arrived!! Emma has her toys packed to share and is ready to go. As Karen finishes brushing Emma’s hair Emma turns around with a huge smile and says “I can’t wait to see Sasha!” Karen smiled back at her admiring how beautiful she looked in her outfit and thinking how pretty she looked with her hair back away from her face. She is so beautiful. She thought. Karen’s sentimental Mommy moment was interrupted by Emma’s excitement to go get something to bring Sasha. Sasha is the families beautiful and adorable odd looking mutt! No one can even begin to guess for sure what she is a mix of but no one really cares as she is small enough to play with and not too big and overwhelming. Karen and Emma gather up all the things for the visit and grab several carrots and a biscuit for Sasha. As Karen starts the car Emma is chattering away in the back seat about the fun she will have and how fun it will be to see Sasha at the door when you arrive. She is always there wagging and loves the treats!

When they arrived Emma and Karen were greeted by Kayla and her Mom (Eva) followed by Sasha. The treats were given out while both Moms chatted for a minute. The two girls busily ran off to play. Sasha is still sniffing around for potential treats and does not seem to notice the girls. Karen gives Eva her cell phone number and sets a time for pick up and heads out to run some errands. An hour goes by when Karen’s cell phone rings. She answers the phone:

“Hello?” She answers

She hears Eva on the line saying; “Karen, I am so sorry, It’s me Eva, Emma, Emma is hurt.”

She says with panic in her voice. Karen can hear Emma screaming in the background. She feels a pit in her stomach.

Karen feels the stress and responds;

“Is she ok, what happened? I am on my way!”

Eva replies through her tears;

“Karen, I don’t know what happened. The girls were playing so well and having fun. I heard giggling and they were dancing and then all of a sudden I heard screaming and Kayla saying “Mommy Come quick! Sasah bit Emma!”

Karen can hear Eva shaking on the phone as she is saying she is so sorry. She is really shaken as she tries to tell Karen what has happened to Emma.

Karen says “Sasha Bit Emma!? Where? How bad is it? Is Emma ok?”

Eva replies, “I am so sorry Karen, on her lip, her nose, she is bleeding. I am so sorry. I don’t understand it Sasha loves the girls. I am so sorry Karen.” Eva is sobbing.

Karen. Replies “I am on my way. Does Emma want to talk to me?” She asks

Karen can hear Emma crying hard in the background. She is desperate to help her and hopes letting her know she is on her way will help her a little.

As tears are streaming down Karen’s cheeks she thinks back to earlier that morning when she was brushing Emma’s hair and admiring her beauty. Would she have scars? How bad is the mark? Karen thinks of Emma’s excitement about Sasha. Emma’s must be so confused! Her feelings surely were going to be hurt. Karen is confused too. What happened???? Karen feels so mixed and panicky as she drives as fast as she can to Eva’s house. Poor Eva she thinks how awful she must feel. This is awful and Karen prays that Emma is ok and that the bite is not that bad.

Karen arrives and sees Emma holding ice on her mouth. She hugs Emma and takes a look at her. It is clear to Karen that they will need to go to the pediatrician. Eva breaks into tears now feeling responsible for this having happened in her home. Eva says. “Karen, Emma I am so sorry. I do not know why this happened. Sasha always loves to play and she knows and loves Emma. I am so sorry!” Karen hugs Eva reminding her that this was an accident. Karen and Emma then head off to their pediatrician to have the bite looked at.

The above situation is fictional however it is one I hear all too often as a Dog Behavior consultant. As parents we do our best to protect our children. I wrote this above scenario in the hopes that it makes you think. Family dogs are wonderful and fun. They provide incredible learning opportunities that nothing can replace. They listen to our stories and put up with our crazy human ways. What we need to keep in mind is that they are still animals. They communicate differently then we do with one another. Dogs that bite are not “bad” dogs. Most often they are dogs that are treated and seen more as a human then a dog. Often expectations of the dog and child are unreasonable. Dogs have their own way that they communicate with one another. They use these same signals with us. We often do not recognize them until we have a need to learn about them. A terrific resource on these communication signals is written by Turid Rugaas called On Talking terms with Dogs, Calming Signals. I recommend parents become familiar with the signals dogs offer to indicate stress or potential conflict. Even if you do not own a dog, chances are you come across them and your kids want to approach them. Learning what to look for so you can count on your own skills to recognize if it is safe or the dog wants your child to approach is critical! Many owners will indicate it is safe to approach when the dog is indicating stress. You can prevent a sad outcome by becoming aware of basic communication.

Although a dog may enjoy children, all dogs have tolerance limits. Our mistake is often to assume that because there has not been a problem that there will not ever be one. This can be a TRAGIC misconception! “He always let the kids do anything to him until he snapped out of the blue!” “He usually loves to play with the kids I have no idea what happened.” Sadly I hear these remarks on a daily basis. I believe education is the only way to make something change. Dogs will indicate stress and or potential conflict in many ways prior to a growl, snap or bite. It is our responsibility to know what to look for to decrease the risk of conflict between our dogs and children. A dog that bites often does not get a second chance. Once a bit happens it leaves the entire family and victim feeling guilty, sad and fearful and maybe even angry.

It is my hope that this article will be of help to you and your family. Dogs are wonderful companions but they need us to respect them as the animals and dogs that they really are. I encourage you to learn so that you can have a wonderful and respectful lifelong bond with your family companion and other dogs your family encounters

When children are visiting your home or others that have dogs please take these things into consideration:

Plan ahead how and if you will introduce the child and dog.
Is the child fearful of dogs?
Have a place for your dog to safely have quiet time away from the children. Crate, yard, gated off area that the kids are not going to disturb him.
ADULT SUPERVISION NO MATTER WHAT when the dog is around children. If an adult is not there to defer to when a dog is stressed then he will defer to his natural responses to stress. Licking lips, head turning, moving away, yawning. These are all subtle signals (calming signals Turid Rugaas) that often kids miss or misinterpret. These signals are usually displayed in the dog’s efforts to reduce stress or conflict prior to showing teeth, snarling, growling or a bite. I highly recommend the game DOGGONE CRAZY! ( www.familypaws.com and www.doggonesafe.com

Jennifer Shryock B.A. CDBC

Jennifer is an experienced Mom and dog behavior consultant. The focus of her private practice is education for families with children and dogs to help increase safety and fun for all.

Dogs & Storks: Holiday Madness from a Dog’s Point of View

Jennifer — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:27:12 +0000

As the holidays approach and you make your plans, keep in mind that stress and changes in routine can impact your dog’s behavior. Often we get frustrated and are on edge as there is so much to do to prepare for dinners, visits and other celebrations.

Keep in mind that as you are busy rushing around, your dog is observing and sensing changes in you. They may “act out” if and when usual attention seeking methods do not work. This is predictable and can be avoided by being aware and maintaining some of the usual routines your dog is comfortable with.

The following playback of an anonymous dog hopefully will help you to understand what your dog may be experiencing. Enjoy!

… from a Dog’s Mind
Hi, my name is Carin. I am a spunky young and beautiful female dog. I am writing to share an experience with you that we dogs feel needs to be addressed and understood by all of our 2 legged friends. So, here is the story!

This morning was different than most. My 2 legged friend got up before I was ready and convinced me it was time to go “potty” in the dark. Seems a bit backwards from my point of view and I was a bit thrown off. Anyway, I went with her odd idea of going potty before the sun came up.

It is only every now and then that she does this odd routine change. This means our whole day is unpredictable. What is she thinking!?! As I am out there doing “potty” she is rushing me. What is wrong with her!?! Geesh, I have not gotten an opportunity to sniff properly to strategically place my gift to the earth. “Let’s go Carin.” she says as she heads back for the door. As I turn away from the opportunity to explore and leave more gifts, I wander in behind her back indoors.

I head for the bedroom but no, this is not where my 2 legged friend is headed. She is really confusing me. I follow her to the kitchen and figure I will just snuggle up here for a nap and ignore her apparent memory loss about the sun coming up and our relaxing time in bed together for a morning cuddle. Seems she has forgotten altogether about that as I watch her from under the table. She even nudged me with her foot once not paying attention to my being there. Something is definitely different about today.

As I try to catch up on my interrupted sleep, I am aware of many things. My 2 legged friend is rushing from place to place. The phone is ringing and she is busy doing things I am not too happy about. She uses this loud thing that eats things off the floor. I used to chase it but that was not appreciated. Now I know to go to the corner to observe the beast. Then once she had finished with that beast she was using the spray bottle with something YUCKY smelling in it. YIKES! I recall one time getting squirted by a spray bottle once when I went to visit my feline friend’s potty area. I was only trying to help and clean up but it seems that too was not appreciated. As I keep my distance to watch her use the spray bottle I can not stop sneezing! What is in that! YUCK! My friend is putting it everywhere and wiping things. I sneeze, and shake off my fur hoping it will go away.

I tried to follow my person around to make sure she did not altogether loose control. After all nothing was normal about this day so far and I was concerned. I ended up going back to my spot under the kitchen table as clearly she did not understand my concern and dedication to making sure she was fine. I was apparently in the way and although my sneezes were cute that was all I heard from her accept “go lay down” and a lot of “move it”. I am confused and tired.

Finally my person comes into the kitchen. YEAH! Maybe now things will go back to usual. I get up and stretch and go over to greet her. She pats me on the head. This annoys me! What about a scratch of the ears???? No, she is busy. I continue to wonder what is going on today!

Then I see it. She reaches in the refrigerator and pulls out this HUGE great smelling sight! Oooooohhhhhh, aaaahhhhhh wag, wag, wiggle wiggle! I am so excited as it smells so good. She tells me “go lay down! Not for you!” Darn! As I go back to my spot under the table I hear her talking to the large bird she is touching instead of me. Now I am very confused. She puts this item in the oven and then heads out of the kitchen.

I follow her and now, yep now she is going to the bedroom. It seems today she wants to sleep when the sun is up. How odd?!? I join her in the bedroom and then realize I have to go “potty.” I wiggle by the bed, and lick her hand and wiggle some more. She invites me on the bed but I HAVE TO GO POTTY! I can not stop wiggling! She is resting and gets irritated as I am wiggling so now she tells me “off!” What am I going to do? I have to go!?! I bark, and wiggle and circle but she is now asleep. I go to the door hoping it might open on its own or she will hear me but then I realize my body relieved itself. I tried to go outside and to let my person know but it is a weird day and I am not sure what to do. I now go and lay down in the bedroom with my person. It is naptime for now.

The above is a doggie point of view about how things can change around the holidays. Many of us will have guests visit and will be busy and changing our normal routines. Keep in mind that your dog is paying attention to you and your level of stress at these times. Often dogs become stressed due to routine changes.

It is important to think of ways to help your dog stay to a comfortable routine even as you are busy preparing for a big family dinner or gathering. If you normally have a quiet home with few visitors it is even more important that your dog has the comfort of routine during the day when you will be having many young and old visitors in your home. If your dog is stressed due to a lack of routine during the day then they will be less tolerant once the guests arrive.

Here are some points to remember when you have large gatherings in your home:

If there are children visiting the dog/s and children must not be unsupervised even for a short period of time.
Sometimes putting a leash on your dog may help them to feel more secure.
Let your dog visit for short periods and then secure them away from the activity if you can not observe them.
Observe your dog’s body language. Licking lips, turning head away, yawning, shaking, lifting paws etc may be subtle cues to you that your dog is a bit stressed or is anticipating conflict of some sort. Pay attention and allow breaks from the busy activities.
Be aware of people sneaking your dog tidbits that may come out on the rug later on!
Respect your dog’s tolerance limit. If you notice your dog looking for a quiet spot then provide one.
Allow your dog to have their own celebration treat with a stuffed kong or other yummy treat. Frozen filled kongs are wonderful for these times.

Most of all enjoy your family and friends and stay safe this Holiday Season!

Jennifer Shryock B.A. CDBC

www.familypaws.com

Dogs & Storks: Halloween and Hounds!

Jennifer — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:26:12 +0000

Halloween is “fright night” for humans not dogs. Screaming, running, spooky children in masks make many dogs uncomfortable, nervous and frightened. Halloween costumes are fun and are meant to disguise our normal appearance. Dogs do not understand this change in appearance and may become frightened. Costumes that change the way a person walks, stands, or general appearance may cause a dog to react differently than usual even with those they know.

Keep in mind that children on Halloween night are excited and doing their best to be scary. This is not a fair or safe situation to put even the best of dogs in. Even the normally terrific tolerant family dog can find this night hard to handle. Along with costumes being frightening to a dog there are some that may become interesting too. Swords, tails and dangling things may be fun for an excited dog to chase and toddlers certainly won’t appreciate that.

Every child and every costume is a new opportunity for different reactions from the same dog.

I recommend setting up your dog with their own private Halloween bash in a safe quiet spot with a yummy treat of their own. Here are some tips to help make this safe haven most comfortable.

Stuff a food dispensing toy with yummy mush and freeze it until it is “Halloween” time.
Use a fan or radio for white noise. Something consistent is best.
Be sure the blinds are down or the dog is not watching kids coming and going by the window. This will only frustrate him and allow him to practice barking and carrying on at the window.

Chocolate is toxic to dogs. Put candy in a safe spot.

Sometimes dogs and cats (especially if they are black) are stolen, poisoned or injured by Halloween pranks. Keep your companions safe inside your home.

Be safe and aware and have fun!

Jennifer Shryock B.A. CDBC Dog & Child relationship expert

May I pet your dog?

Jennifer — Sun, 09 Jul 2006 22:45:44 +0000

Spring and summer are fabulous seasons when everyone is out and about enjoying the weather.� Dogs are eager to play and spend time frolicking at the park with their family.� As you go out here are some tips to help set you and the dogs you encounter up for success!

I hear parents giving advise to ask the stranger holding the dog, “May I pet your dog?” We also teach to ask “Is your dog friendly?”� Is this the safe advice?� Why is it we tell our kids not to talk to strangers but we some how trust the strangers with dogs to be honest about their dogs friendliness and behavior?�

Here are some things to take into consideration when encountering dogs with your children.� � The more you know the safer choices you can make.

Are there other dogs in the area?
Is it a crowded noisy environment?
Are you confident that this person would tell you if their furry baby has a bite history?
Is the dog listening to the handler?
Is the dog interested in interacting?

Is it hot?
Is the dog tired?
Is he fearful?

Are there many children wanting to pet the dog all at once?
Is your child wound up and really excited?
Is your child eye level with the dog?
Does your child have food on their hands, face, or clothing?
Is the dog showing fear?

Tucking tail
Turning its head away, licking lips
Cowering, growling or shaking
Hiding behind handler
Yawning

Any of these factors alone or combined may indicate that the dog is experiencing stress in this situation.� Consider the dog’s total posture and the environment when making a decision to approach or not.

These are just some of the things that need to be taken into consideration before parents allow their children to meet an unfamiliar and even a familiar dog.� The key to setting kids up for success with our canine friends is providing education that will help them recognize safe and unsafe situations.

For more information on dog bite statistics and prevention visit www.familypaws.com. We provide neighborhood awareness education at no charge! Handouts on dog bite prevention are available for reprint by request.

Introducing Dogs & Storks

Kris — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 19:01:43 +0000

Clever Parents is excited to announce a new column, Dogs & Storks, by Jennifer Shryock, whose business focuses on safe interactions between children and dogs. Jennifer’s company, also named Dogs & Storks, offers new and expecting families a program of practical and positive solutions to help create a “happily ever after” once a new baby or child joins a family. In her column, Jennifer shares tips for introducing your new baby to your dog, bringing a new dog into your family, approaching unfamiliar dogs with your children, and much much more.

Clever Parents caught up with Jennifer to learn about tips for choosing a dog for a family of small children, her inspirations, and approaching unfamiliar dogs in outdoor settings.

Clever Parents: What inspired you to create Dogs & Storks?
Jen Shryock: Our family is very active in dog rescue. I found that many dogs are surrendered to shelters or rescues due to child/dog miscommunication. It was clear that more education was needed. I decided to combine my two passions, children and dogs, to create the best program to help fill this need.

Clever Parents: What is your first memory of being around a dog?
Jen Shryock: So many! I have had dogs every day of my life. I specifically remember being 5 and picking our our new Golden Retriever puppy “Heidi.” I remember the words Golden Retriever being too big so we shortened it to GR. I remember my Mother holding Heidi in the front seat of our Volkswagon bus and the pup looking back at us. It was an exciting time. I had Heidi for 13 years; she was a truly special part of my life.

Clever Parents: What are some tips for choosing a dog for a family with small children?
Jen Shryock: Observation of the dog or pup in their foster or current situation. Learn as much as you can about the breed characteristics of the dog you are thinking of. Each dog is very individual and there is always the right match for everyone but sometimes it takes a great deal of patience to find the right fit. Know what you want in energy level, size,age, grooming needs, etc. Keep in mind this dog will be with you for 13 years! Pups and tots often are not a good mix due to the intensity of both of their needs.

Clever Parents: In general children love animals. What do you recommend parents do when their children are interested in ‘meeting’ a dog in an outdoor setting?
Jen Shryock: I encourage parents and children to become familiar with the subtle cues dogs offer that indicate stress or wanting to be left alone. Examples can be found at www.familypaws.com/communication & www.doggonesafe.com

It is important to ask the handler for permission but it is more important that you are empowered to recognize if the dog is indicating it does not want you to approach. Learning the subtle cues sets up kids and dogs for success.

Suggestions for meeting a dog:

Ask the handler to have the dog sit. This lets you know if they are in control or if the dog is not paying attention to thier handler.
Stand sideways to the dog and let them sniff the back of the closed fist.
Pet the dog on the side of the head vs on top of the head.
I always suggest the child pet and then stop and see if the dog “asks for more” petting. They may do this by nudging, moving closer, etc. If the dog moves away then the dog is done. Thank the handler and move on.

Jennifer Shryock is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant who specializes in safety between children and dogs. Jennifer has over 15 years of hands on experience working with dogs and families in a wide variety of environments. Jennifer combines her love of working with dogs and children into one career that is dedicated to safety and fun!

Jennifer is a Clever Parent to Andrew (10), David (8) and Kayleigh (5). She has three dogs: Moose, a 12 year old German Shepherd, Carin, an eight year old German Shepherd/Husky mix and Bailey, a two year old Siberian Husky, and five cats: Jack, Leben, Missy, Wolfie and Sali.

Learn more about Jennifer, her CD containing all of the information you should know before introducing dog and baby, online classes, in-person workshops and in-home consultations at www.dogsandstorks.com.