While cutting costs and spending less these days is a prudent action, there is one thing that you never need to skimp on – your family. Family is a constant in any economic environment, to be enjoyed and loved for rich or poor. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on lavish vacations or expensive evenings out to enjoy your family time together. Here are 4 creative ways to spend quality time with those closest to you without spending a dime:

Movies – Instead of trekking the whole family out to the latest release in the theatres, try scrounging up your old videos. Just because a movie was made more than a decade ago, doesn’t mean the next generation can’t enjoy it just as much as you did. Recently, I came across a bin of old videos and once I dusted off the VCR, our family re-enjoyed such classics as Back to the Future, Superman and ET.

Family Game Night – If you have a pack of playing cards, you have an endless supply of games at your disposal. Teach your kids some games you used to play as a kid or play their favorites such as Old Maid and Crazy Eights. Several families boast about their family Poker nights with kids as young as four! Dig out some old board games that you’ve been too busy to play. Make a night of it with popcorn and smoothies. Family game night is one of my kids most treasured events.

Make your own Game – Put a further twist on your game playing and let your kids make up their own game. Grab some poster board, colored paper, markers, tape, glue and dice and just let them go. This will keep them busy for hours and then you have the fun of all sitting down and experiencing this masterpiece together.

Dance Party – This is a family treat for all ages. Get out the old records or just turn on the radio, clear a space and dance. My kids and I enjoy the 80s station for our dance party. Have a contest on the craziest dance move, the sillier the better. What fun your kids will have watching mom and dad dancing letting loose and goofy!

Is anyone even thinking about the holidays in 100 degree weather? You should! End of summer is the perfect time to plan, get great deals and great selection for holiday gifts for your family! Shopping for holiday gifts for your family doesn’t have to be a strain on your budget, time or sanity. You can find unique and thoughtful gifts for every member of your family on your Christmas list that will astound them on Christmas morning – and it you don’t have to spend hours trekking through store after store, braving the winter winds and parking lot chaos. You can find great Holiday and Christmas gifts for your whole family with ease and comfort by following these 5 tried and true family gift-giving tips:

· Buy the same thing for everyone – While this may seem to be the easy way out, its actually very thoughtful. If your family enjoys the beach, purchase everyone a beach bag in different colors and monogram it for each person. If your family enjoys Christmas caroling or just loves Christmas morning, try buying matching family pajamas for the whole family. A gift that is the same but is customized for the individual family shows that you understand what makes that family the happiest!

· Buy ‘theme’ gifts – Pick an item or a theme and mix and match your gift selections. For example, if your family enjoys entertaining, buy each member something they can use for a party such as a punch bowl, serving platters or candy dishes. Another great gift suggestion is matching family clothing. Choose one designer or one type of shirt style and purchase different colors and designs for the entire family. Matching pajamas for kids and adults is a unique idea for a special family.

· Shop on the internet – If you despise the crowded parking lots and pushy people at holiday time, shop from the convenience of your own home. You will have stores at your fingertips to choose from than you could ever visit in person. Use the search engines and be specific. If you are looking for Christmas theme pajamas in all sizes for adults and kids, type that into your search browser ‘matching family Christmas holiday Pajamas’. If you don’t get the results you are looking for, try mixing up the words – for example: ‘Holiday Pajamas for kids and adults’. Purchase from a webstore that has lots of detail information about the products and a good return/exchange policy (30 days is reasonable).

· Know what you want before you go shopping – To find ideas for great, unique holiday gifts for your family, do some research before you start aimlessly wandering the aisles. Visit your favorite shopping sites and news sources as nearly everywhere has a holiday gift guide you can peruse. If you are shopping for young kids or new moms, look through some popular parenting sites and magazines for ideas. Ask your friends and neighbors for ideas. If you have a general direction in mind, you will save tons of time and effort as you purchase your holiday gifts.

· Ask them what they want – A virtual guaranteed method of getting your family exactly what they want. Ask them, make a list and start looking for sales and promotions. If you shop early enough you will be sure to get the best deals on exactly the gifts your family will enjoy this holiday season!

There are BIG kids and there are LITTLE kids. But boys never really stop being kids, do they? Even when boys become Dads, something temporarily dormant is set loose and Dad is once again free to be a kid himself. Here are 5 irrefutable comparisons between Dad and his kids that can leave no doubt that Dad is the biggest kid of all:

1. Big boys and little boys spend most of their daily energy on two primary objectives: 1. getting along with the girls and 2. spending as much time at sports as possible.
2. By day Dad may work as an engineer, a doctor or an actual rocket scientist, but he will still reflect the same horrified “What am I supposed to do with that?” look as his 4 year-old when confronted with a load of laundry that needs washed.
3. Dads toys are bigger and more expensive…but still toys. When presented with a brand new shiny ‘toy’ the faces of both Dad and kids will gloss over with wide-eyed anticipation and delight. Whether it’s a new toy car for his 3 year old or a shiny new car for Dad, you can expect a test drive, tinkering and shrieks of delight.
4. Big boys and little boys play tough: wrestling, roughhousing, punching, teasing, rolling and general rowdiness and mayhem. When someone inevitably gets hurt, they both come running to report the grave seriousness of their injury and receive some TLC.
5. The fascination of the remote starts at an early and never goes away. Attempting to wrangle the remote away from your 5 year-old or Dad will spark pouting, tantrums and withholding of a goodnight kiss.

Dad may be just a big kid, but we love him for that and for everything else that makes him Dad. Happy Father’s Day!

We have all heard the terrifying statistics on the American weight problem and the increase in childhood obesity. One of the most important gifts you can give your children is a lifelong love of being active. If we start now, show them exercise can be fun, being active will be a natural part of their life as they grow into adulthood.

Kids and parents today have access to some of the most amazing opportunities to give this gift to our children. How? By showing them that activity, sports and exercise are fun, not only for kids, but for the whole family. And there is a beautiful by-product: you will share these experiences with your family, increasing your family togetherness by spending this quality time with them. Here are 5 fantastic ways to love your family this summer by getting them active:

1. Family Bike Ride and Picnic – Go to your local parks and recreation center or website and find a nearby bike trail in a distance and level of difficulty to suit your family. Bring along plenty of water, a blanket and a backpack full of picnic foods. Stop along the way, relax in the grass and enjoy talking and eating with your family. Engage in bird watching, tree identification or the resounding silence of nature… just be together.

2. Start a New Sport/Hobby Together – Find a sport or activity that is new to all of you and learn it together. When kids see Mom and Dad trying their best to do something new, it inspires them to also do their best. You can laugh with each other as you share the struggles of learning. Some great sports/activity ideas that can include the whole family are martial arts, dance classes, tennis, ice skating, soccer, rollerblading and many others. The goal is to find something all of you can enjoy and learn together. There is nothing quite like the feeling of getting a ‘thumbs up’ from your own child when you’ve done something well!

3. Walk to Dinner – What? Walk to dinner? Why? Because its loads of fun and a margarita never tasted so crisp after you’ve walked a mile for it! Many neighborhoods are within walking distance of a restaurant or pizza parlor. Pick a lovely evening and set out early to walk to the restaurant. You will gain quality family time together as you talk during your walk as well as burn off those dessert calories before you even consume them!

4. Family Adventure Vacation Weekend – We are fortunate to live in a country full of thrilling places for an active adventure weekend. You are sure to be able to find a great place within a few hours of your home. If you find yourself with an open weekend, instead of spending it cleaning and doing yard work, try a fun, active mini-vacation for the whole family. Some great ideas that are within driving distance for a weekend adventure include:

• white-water rafting
• mountain biking
• hiking at any skill level
• horseback riding
• camping

You will love this quality family time together while getting out there and being active. And the kids will have a great adventure to report to their teachers on Monday!

5. Participate in a Charity Walk/Run Together – In most communities, we are fortunate to find a plethora of organized charity walks throughout the year. All you have to do is find one that is meaningful to you, register and show up. Not only will you have this time with your family and get some valuable exercise, but you will be demonstrating to your children the value of giving and supporting others.

Everyone has heard that women are from Venus and men are from Mars, but did you ever think that these ingrained differences in the sexes are instilled long before we start dating? I recently had the opportunity to have lunch with each of my two children (my son, Jarod, age 8 and my daughter, Brooke, age 6) at their elementary school two days in a row. Please allow me to share with you the vast differences in these mind boggling encounters and you might reach the same conclusion that I have – little boys and little girls are VERY different, right from the beginning.

Entering the Classroom:
As I entered my daughters first grade classroom, I was greeted with a headlong rush into my arms followed by a soupy kiss. Almost in synchronized harmony, a cacophony of little girl voices called out “Hello, Brooke’s Mom!” I was then nearly trampled by Brooke’s chattering friends as they all clamored with inquiries to sit with Brooke at the honored table of “Parent Visitors”. I was flush with the feeling of celebrity.

The next day, I entered my 8 year old son’s room, high on the intoxicating welcome I had received in my daughter’s room and pumped up with confidence of a reception equivalent to royalty. My illusions of grandeur were instantly squashed. My son, Jarod, didn’t get up, greet me or otherwise acknowledge my arrival other than the nearly imperceptible nod of the head that I would have missed had I blinked at that exact moment. The little boy who curls into me at night and engages in nightly negotiations for more ‘Mommy time’ hardly flinched. I stood there in the doorway limp, not sure what to do with myself. Until one of Jarod’s buddies, Sam (names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent), threw an eraser that caught me in the eye. And so I stood there with a leaking eye and an empty purpose until the teacher lined everyone up for lunch.

The Walk to the Cafeteria:
Brooke walked briskly and silently with me at her side, just as the teacher instructed. She even shushed me when I tried to ask her a question. Sam bumped into Jarod’s back, which caused him to catapult into Ben’s legs, tripping him and landing all three of them in a pile of squirming legs. When I tried to shush them and straighten them out, I was instructed by their teacher to “Please keep the boys under control”. At that moment I realized I was out of my league. I did not want to be in charge of the boys. They were more than happy to ignore my input. So I pretended I didn’t hear their guffaws and concentrated on not getting tripped down the hall. The boys ignored the girls as if they wore coats that rendered them invisible, except for when Zachary (the ‘funniest kid in the class’ according to Jarod) tossed a piece of gum at Georgina that stuck in her hair.

The Lunch:
Brooke and her gaggle of girls sat in a flurry of pink lunch boxes and giggles. Seating arrangements that had clearly been discussed, planned and bargained since early morning. Once seated, they swarmed over me, chattering without pause about their latest Webkins acquisitions, their names, clothing, preferred foods, best friends and birthdays. If you don’t know about Webkins, they are stuffed animals and unworthy of so much personal data. But, I listened intently, my neck twisting left to right trying to absorb each girl’s litany of important details as my head started pounding. Olivia announced that Brooke had a crush on Keegan, to which Brooke yelled “Shut up, Olivia!” and hid her face in her Tupperware container. Oh, boy, and this is only first grade.

Jarod and his buddies plopped into the seats furthest from the girls. Samuel moved Ben’s chair at the last moment and he crashed to the floor. Apparently, that is great fun and a daily event. As I grew up with only a sister, I was vastly unprepared for boy talk and boy humor. The discussion centered around only three topics: belches, gas and throwing up. Samuel ended every comment with the phrase “And then he got his head chopped off and got killed”. Seriously, no matter what was discussed, someone got their head chopped off. I am not a complete rube and I was well aware that my son, on a normal day where his mother was not hovering at his elbow, would normally participate in these disgusting and hilarious topics. Thankfully, that day, he resigned himself to laughing hysterically when Ben projected gas loudly over a dozen times and Samuel suggested a belching contest.

At this time of year you are probably busy shopping and planning your gift-giving for your family, searching stores and online shops for the perfect, unique gifts to express to your family how much they mean to you. Our families know that we love them – not by the amount or largesse of the gifts we purchase for them – but by the little things we say and do for them all year long. If you are overwhelmed with holiday shopping or looking for a way to get your feelings noticed on a limited budget this holiday season, here are 5 no-cost ways to show your family you love them:

• Do something unexpected to make a family members life just a tiny bit easier – The other day my husband, without my asking, went out in the evening and filled my car up with gas so I wouldn’t be rushed in the morning. He’s a keeper!

• Leave a note somewhere unexpected – I stuck a post-it note to the bathroom mirror in my kids’ bathroom that said “Lookin’ Good today, kids!”. They came running out, laughing. It transformed their day.

• Say Thank You for something a family member does for you that mostly is taken for granted – My six-year-old daughter said to me while I was folding laundry “Thank you for washing my underpants, mom”. Now that makes it all worth it!

• Say something nice for no reason at all – My eight-year-old son was staring at me with a peculiar expression while I was just sitting and reading. I asked him what he was thinking about. He said “You are a fun Mom.” This is pretty much the highest compliment a Mom can get!

• Let a family member ‘overhear’ you compliment him to someone else – While talking to my mother on the phone, my son overheard me go on and on about how well he is doing in school and how proud I am of him (you know, all the things we can say to our children’s grandparents because they never tire of stories about their grandchildren and their accomplishments). My son later repeated what he had heard to my husband with a giant smile of pride on his face.

Showing your family you love them doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. You know them best and know what little things make them happy. So take a couple minutes today and do something to show your family you love them!

When my oldest child went to kindergarten, I fretted for weeks about whether or not he should take the school bus. I think what terrified me the most was that he would be out of my control. I later learned the school bus is the safest way to get your child to school – here’s why:

The Stats
Statistics show that the safest way to transport a child to school is in a school bus. Fatal crashes involving occupants are extremely rare events, even though school buses serve daily in every community – a remarkable 8.8 billion student trips annually. Every school day, some 440,000 yellow school buses transport more than 24 million children to and from schools and school-related activities. Said another way to give perspective to the huge magnitude of pupil transportation, the equivalent of the populations of Florida, Massachusetts and Oregon ride on a school bus twice every day – almost always without a serious incident.

Why School Buses are so Safe
The Bus Itself
The following requirements are key federal safety mandates for school buses:

• Special passenger crash protection. Well-padded, high back, energy-absorbing seats, as well as special requirements for wheelchair restraint systems. These seating systems provide “automatic protection” for young passengers. Additionally, school bus interiors are designed to reduce the chances of injury caused by sharp edges or body panels that may tear loose in a crash.
• Better brakes. Brake systems that enable the school bus to stop in a shorter distance than other large vehicles.
• Warning lights. Lights and reflective devices that indicate when the bus is loading and unloading passengers.
• Special mirrors. Additional mirrors that allow the driver to see all areas directly in front of and along both sides of the school bus.
• Swing out stop arms. A stop arm in newer buses that extends out to the left side of the bus to warn motorists when the bus is loading or unloading passengers.
• Emergency exits. Multiple emergency exits consistent with the capacity of the school bus.
• Rollover protection. Rollover protection that reduces the likelihood of a roof collapse and allows for operable emergency exits even after the roof is subject to extreme forces.
• Fuel system protection. Protected fuel tanks, and fuel pump and fuel delivery system.

Bus Drivers
School bus drivers are an integral part of the safe transportation of school children. While the structure of the school bus provides excellent protection in the event of a crash, it is the skill and performance of the highly trained, professional school bus driver that often prevents crashes. School buses always are operated by drivers with a Commercial Drivers License (CDL), required by the U.S. Department of Transportation, and who have received special school bus driver training required by the state. In addition, no one can drive a school bus without first passing drug and alcohol screening and any required law enforcement background checks.

Why Don’t School Buses have Seat Belts?
This is not an oversight. Studies have been conducted on the potential benefits of seat belts on school buses. The results are that based on all of the real-world facts, today’s school buses provide an extremely high level of crash protection for student passengers considering all the types of crashes involving school buses. There are no aggregate statistical data to suggest that a safety problem exists in large school buses that the installation of lap belts would solve. In fact, there is growing concern among safety professionals around the world over the use of lap belts as a form of passenger restraint for young or small children. In August 1998, at a public hearing held by the National Transportation Safety Board, five international experts in the field of motor vehicle occupant crash protection expressed their concern about the appropriateness of lap belts in providing crash protection to small children. The unanimous opinion was that lap belts were not a good means of providing crash protection to small children because small childrens’ bone structure, particularly their hips, is still developing through grade school.

Once kids are on the bus, they would be responsible for properly buckling themselves, increasing the liklihood that children wouldn’t do it or would buckle improperly.

Clever Tips for Safety at the Bus Stop!

What is the most dangerous part of the school bus ride? The bus stop! Children are at greatest risk when they are getting on or off the school bus. Most of the children killed in bus-related crashes are pedestrians, five to seven years old, who are getting on or off the bus. They are hit by the school bus or by motorists illegally passing a stopped bus.

Young children are most likely to be hit because they:

• hurry to get on or off the bus,
• act before they think and have little experience with traffic,
• assume motorists will see them and will wait for them to cross
• don’t always stay within the bus driver’s sight.

Here are some recommended tips and real-world practices to ensure children get on and off the school bus safely:

• Children should not arrive at the Bus Stop too early. Kids get restless and will likely start running around or start up games to combat the boredom. I find that when I arrive too early to the bus stop, inevitably someone yells “Tag! You’re it!” and then kids disperse in all directions.
• An adult should wait with children until the bus arrives. This is particularly difficult for working parents who need to be somewhere on time. Take turns with other parents that you trust to monitor the Bus Stop before and after school.
• There are blind spots where the bus driver can lose sight of a child: FRONT DANGER ZONE: It’s never safe to walk close to the front of the bus. Children should walk five giant steps ahead of the bus before crossing in front of it. SIDE DANGER ZONE: Children should always stay three giant steps away from the side of the bus. REAR DANGER ZONE: Never walk behind the school bus.
• Remind children NEVER to approach a car or driver of a car asking for directions or answer questions from strangers. Of course, if a parent is always at the bus stop, the adult should field strangers in cars.
• Remind children to stay to the side of the roadway. Most bus stops are at or near corners, which can be dangerous. This sounds obvious, but once kids get into play, they get distracted and aren’t vigilant about watching for passing cars.
• Kids will and do play in the yards closest to their bus stop. I and other parents encourage that they stay in the grass out of harm’s way. To be a good neighbor, we have asked permission for our kids to run about in these yards from the homeowners. Sometimes my son and I toss baseballs while waiting for the bus. This way his attention is focused on me, he is backed against the grass so that if a ball is missed, I am the one to go out into the street to retrieve it.
• Older children can and do bully younger children. Listen to the stories your children tell about activity at the bus stop, they are probably true. Arranging for an adult to be at the bus stop will prevent this from happening. Tell your child what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Encourage your child to tell you anything and everything.
• Teach your child to ask the driver for help if they drop something near the bus. If a child stoops to pick up something, the driver cannot see them. The bus could accidentally hit them. A durable book bag or backpack helps keep loose items together.
• Stay away from the bus wheels, and watch for moving cars.

If you think a bus stop is in a dangerous place, talk with your school office or transportation director about changing the location. The location of the bus stop is not an immovable, inflexible decision and everyone has the same goal – for kids to be safe. I know a parent who complained and succeeded in having an additional stop in her neighborhood added to the route – right in front of her house.

My son starts third grade today. It is thrilling and exciting, yet doesn’t contain the heart-wrenching emotional trauma for me that say, kindergarten held. However, it triggers me thinking about my performance as a Mom as I tend to evaluate every so often. Of course I am my own harshest critic, most Moms are. Did I pack a healthy lunch for him? Is he prepared for the challenges of a new grade? Could I have done more?

The entire day is whittled away obsessing over these questions. As a Mom, I want the best for my family…doesn’t every Mom? When my son gets home and empties his crisp Pirate backpack, a lone paper flutters to the floor. When I bend to retrieve it, I note the title in my son’s loopy handwriting: “Three Things that Make me Happy”.

While he scours the refrigerator for snacks (why didn’t I have an assortment of cut fruits sitting on the table? Put one point on my Mom-Inadequacy Chart) I read his list:

#3. Disney World makes me happy. At least the mega-money it cost is remembered. It was a great family vacation and I am touched it made the list.

#2 School makes me happy. I want to learn to be an author like my Mom. Excellent. So far I’ve managed to help instill a love of learning in him, although I do harbor a secret knowledge that his favorite subjects are recess and lunch.

#1 My family makes me happy. Walla! I’ve done it! I’ve created a warm, loving environment for my son to grow and learn and love. All those years…all the obsessing, all the questioning is finally validated! I am doing a good job as a Mom!

And then my son asks for a Hershey bar. I say no. He pouts. I stand my ground. He claims I am unfair. I remind him no Hershey bars before dinner. He stomps around the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” he asks me as I stick his “List of Things that Make Me Happy” to the refrigerator with a hand-colored magnet he had made in preschool (soooo long ago).

“Just posting this list as proof.”

“Proof of what?” he asks.

I smile, “Proof that you like me.”

“That’s stupid, Mom, because of course I love you.”

I hand him a Hershey bar. I even unwrap it for him. Put another point on the Mom-Inadequacy chart. But it sure is worth it.

Maybe I watched JAWS once too many times and as a result I have a curious love/hate relationship with these animals. At the beach, I incessantly scan the horizon for fins and constantly try to get my kids closer to shore, yet every time a shark/human encounter makes headlines, I obsessively tune in!

The good news is shark attacks are rare and infrequent. Sharks are generally not bloodthirsty maniacal killers. Considering that tens of thousands of people come in close contact with sharks each year while swimming, surfing, or boating, numbers of shark attacks are negligible. Still, if you are concerned about your kids in the ocean, here are some simple tips to avoid a ‘close encounter’ with a shark:

• Avoid sandbars and sharp drop-offs where fish congregate. Most shark attacks occur on the inshore side of a sandbar or between sandbars because fish congregate there and because sharks can become trapped at low tide. Sharp drop-offs also attract lots of fish and, therefore, sharks.
• Keep close to shore.
• If you venture out into deeper waters, do not splash a lot, since it attracts sharks. Seen from below, swimmers or surfboarders are often mistaken for seals or sea lions, whose fatty bodies are a favorite treat for sharks. Human splashing creates irregular ripples in the water below, which to a shark may indicate an injured seal or fish.
• Stay out of the water at night, dusk, or dawn. Sharks are most active at night.
• Swim in a group. Sharks prefer to attack lone victims.
• Contrasts attract sharks such as bright swimsuits and uneven tanning. If you intend to swim in deeper waters, you might want to bring along a dark, nondescript swimsuit to slip over your highly visible one.
• Stay out of polluted or murky water.
• Be wary of feeding birds, or porpoises, which indicate the presence of fish.
• Do not throw food scraps into the water.
• Do not swim if you are bleeding. Sharks can detect tiny amounts of blood.
• Do not wear shiny jewelry. Shiny jewelry that gleams like fish scales, multi-color swimsuits, and irregular tanning, especially on the bottom of the feet, could also confuse a shark into thinking a person is an animal.
• Keep pets out of the water. Erratic movements attract sharks.
• Avoid areas being used by fishermen.

Now you can enjoy the ocean even more, knowing that your children most likely will not be swimming with sharks!

You’re trekking over what seems like miles of unforgiving sandy terrain, hauling pounds of gear and apparatus, your arms start to tremble from the strain, your knees begin to buckle, your voice is hoarse from yelling at the kids to slow down and then…you see it. The perfect patch of sand that is not too close to the water, not to close to other people. You call to the rest of the family with undue excitement, “This is our spot! Drop everything here!” Blankets, umbrellas, coolers, beach bags, shoes, shirts all tumble into a pile and everybody bolts to the water. But, wait. You’ve not only missed your chance to slather everybody with sunscreen, you’ve missed your best opportunity to stress to your kids that in the event that can’t find you, they should look for your stuff, head there and stay put. In the myriad of supplies that you’ve toted, you should bring items that will easily distinguish your area from the hundreds of other sunbathers on the beach. Here is a list of very visible markers to choose from to mark your spot:

· Pick a spot near a lifeguard tower. This serves as a visible landmark as well as keeps you close to help, if needed.

· Choose a bright-colored beach blanket with distinctive markings. Or, instead of a beach blanket, use a Queen sized flat sheet. They’re lighter to carry, easier to clean, and bigger than most beach blankets. Also, distinctive, bright colored designs are easy to find on a flat sheet (we bring along my daughter’s old Hello Kitty sheet – the brilliant pink kitty faces are easy to see and the only one on the beach!)

· Select a florescent orange umbrella with a happy face hand-painted on it (this is my family’s favorite – as the kids painted the umbrella themselves, they always remember to look for it)

· If you choose to lighten your load and rent an umbrella at a nearby beach store, tote along a thick ribbon and tie it to the top of the umbrella. Or throw your garish tee shirt with the dizzying logo over the top. This will distinguish your umbrella from the dozens of others just like it.

· Tote along a bright-colored beach chair with a flag affixed to the back (gives it height to ensure it can be seen from a distance over other chairs and people).

· Large, freestanding pinwheels can be found at any garden center and will distinctively mark your spot as well as entertain toddlers.

· For rented beach chairs, drape a florescent towel over the back for visibility

· When not using them, prop your boogie board or surf board up so that it can be seen from a distance

· Wagons – When my kids were toddlers, I found it convenient to stuff swim diapers, extra clothes, toys, bottles, snacks, juices, etc., etc., into our red plastic wagon that seated two kids comfortably and came equipped with cup holders, seat storage and foot rests. You know these modern-day versions of the little red wagon we had as kids – the Lexus models of today compared with the ancient models of our youth. While the wagons are nifty for transporting kids and apparatus, they also serve another useful purpose – they are visible. When you’ve emptied everything out, prop the handle upright and drape a bright-colored towel over it. You’ve made yourself a flag that can be easily spotted.

· Strollers – For smaller children, it’s sometimes easiest to tote them along for a day of beach fun in their strollers where they can readily be shielded from the sun and take naps comfortably. If you’ve gone to the immense effort of dragging a set of stroller wheels (bending and locking every few seconds) through rugged, rocky sand, use it to mark your spot. Tie a red scarf, handkerchief or towel around the handle and let it flap in the wind.

· Toboggan or plastic snow sled – These may look unusual on the beach but are so much easier to cart stuff over sand than anything with wheels. Toddlers are also eager to jump aboard, keeping them from running off as you deal with getting set up. In addition, the plastic surface can be easily rid of sand for a non-gritty place to play or snack.

With days filled with diaper changes, feedings, playdates, potty training, homework and mountains of laundry, being a Happy Mom is something Moms rarely have time to contemplate. We surveyed a group of 50 moms and asked them if they considered themselves happy. But, we didn’t let them answer right away. We gave them ten solid minutes to really think about it. And then, when each and every mom responded “Yes, I am a happy mom!” we asked the tough question – why? We compiled their responses into an eight-question questionnaire to find out if you truly are a Happy Mom…

1. Are you secretly glad to see your children get on the bus to go to school so that you can have time to yourself? But, then are you watching for them out the window and missing them by the afternoon?

2. When walking past your child’s room at night, do you sometimes pause and are unable to resist the urge to peak in and watch her sleep?

3. When your child does something nice and unselfish for someone else without being asked, do you silently congratulate yourself on bringing a compassionate, caring person to the world?

4. Can the words, “I love you, Mommy” make you forget bills, squabbles, the lack of food in the house and the mounting piles of dirty laundry and fill you with a sense of bliss?

5. Do you yearn for a night out with your girlfriends and then when you finally get it, do you talk incessantly about your children?

6. If you travel alone and stay in a hotel, do you find the silence deafening and keep waking up wondering why you are not being asked for a nighttime glass of water or helping a sleepy little person use the bathroom?

7. Are you known now to more people as “So-and-so’s Mommy” than by your own first name? Do you now introduce yourself as “Somebody’s Mommy” and not your own name?

8. Have you ever been honked at at a red light because you started daydreaming about your child’s face?

To show the world you are a Happy Mom, wear an adorable pink HAPPY MOM tee shirt available at Footsteps Clothing, a mother-daughter boutique offering matching mom and daughter clothes, outfits, dresses, tops and jewelry. www.footstepsclothing.com/Products/product1_HappyMompink.aspx. Check out the matching HAPPY BABY onesie, too! www.footstepsclothing.com

When our kids are young, they need us every second. As they grow older and more independent, they need us less and less. So how do you continually maintain a strong family unit? We found a way that worked for our family:

My son was five when ‘it’ started. He went from a needy infant and toddler that needed my undying attention every minute to a sports fanatic who suddenly was only interested in talking to his dad and uncles in a foreign language of statistics and rosters. Determined not to lose him (and equally determined not to become immersed in a subject I despised) I decided we needed to find a common interest that both of us could enjoy. What we discovered was so much more. Read how finding a shared passion has brought my son and I closer together and we urge all families to find a passion of their own.

My son was involved in tae kwon do so I decided I would try it, too. Little did I know then that I would become so thoroughly absorbed in the sport. Tae kwon do has become our shared passion, our common interest, our mother-son language together. Here is what my son, Jarod, now age 8, and I say about taking tae kwon do together:

· “Everyone Gets Exercise” – Not only does the physical training benefit both of us now, but it teaches him an early lesson that exercise should be a lifelong habit. Because we are so committed to our training and enjoy our time together, there is little time left for plopping on the couch and gaining pounds.

· “You can Talk About What You Learn” – I am continually impressed with the retention capabilities of my eight-year-old son. While I struggle to recall facts about Korean history for our black belt test this May, he spouts them off without any hesitation. Tae kwon do also promotes life skills that are in sync with our family values: respect, integrity, dedication. I enjoy explaining to him what these values mean to me and giving him examples from my own life. I am amused at his surprise that I had an entire life before he was even born!

· “You Can Give Hints To Each Other” – Training for a black belt is serious work and there is a lot to remember. By taking classes together, we help each other over the tough spots. As we are both learning and training, this puts us on equal level as opposed to other aspects of our lives where I am typically the teacher. The confidence and pride radiates in him when he is able to explain to me something I am doing wrong or help me with a difficult move that he is expert at.

· “You Can Cheer For Each Other” – This is the best part. My heart nearly melts after I perform a poomsay and I catch Jarod out of the corner of my eye give me a thumbs up. There is nothing better than hearing “Good job, Mommy”. We high five each other during class and support each other during tournaments. He sees me trying my best and I know this inspires him to try his best, too. I am amazed at the confidence he has gained during our training, often competing in front of hundreds of people without any nervousness at all (while Mommy is trying hard not to keel over!)

· “You can have fun together and families can work together” – No doubt training at tae kwon do with my son is terrific fun. It’s hard work, but that’s part of the fun. We see entire families training together at our school, White Tiger in Cary, and observe them cohesively discussing and practicing together. We are not the only ones who have discovered that families that play together, stay together.

In a time-compressed hectic world, there should always be time carved out for special family interaction. We found ours at White Tiger in Cary, North Carolina; you can find yours, too. Simply uncover an activity that all of you enjoy and do it together!

At this time of year, many families are off to the mountains to ski. Here are some creative parent-to-parent tips on skiing with your kids safely:

· Be visible – Dress both yourself and your kids in bright jackets, but NOT red or orange. These are typically the colors of ski patrol employees and will make you and your child blend into the masses on the slopes. Choose a bright green or pink or purple. If this isn’t possible for your ski jacket, invest in bright-colored gloves, hats and scarves.

· Identification – Place your business card or a note with the cellphone number you are carrying into the pocket of your children. If your child gets lost or hurt, the number to reach you will be immediately available.

· Slope etiquette – Inform your children that people ahead of you have the right of way. It is your responsibility to avoid them – not for them to jump out of your way.

· Ski to your child’s level – It is tempting to encourage your child to try the bigger slopes with you, but make sure they are ready. This winter my son dropped off a twenty-foot cliff because he wasn’t ready to navigate the more difficult slopes (he was unharmed, thank goodness!).

· Chair Lifts – Make sure your child’s back is pressed up against the chair lift and they are sitting up straight (ski wear gets slippery and you don’t want a slouching child to slide underneath the safety bar). I always hook onto some part of my son while on the chairlift: arm, ski jacket, waist, to keep him secure. Don’t raise the safety bar too early when exiting the lift; keep your firm grip on your child until his skis safely touch the exit ramp.

During the day, we are many things to many people: mothers, daughters, wives, employees, bosses, counselors, confidantes. Each identity comes complete with its own uniform: apron, business suit, cocktail dress. But, when we shed these personas each night, we have the opportunity to be who we are inside, who we feel, match the mood of the moment. How do we accomplish this? Through our pajamas!

Our choice of pajamas allows us to reinvent ourselves each and every night. A lawyer by day wearing a crisp business suit sheds her stiff day clothes for silky pajamas at night; a policewoman tosses off her mandated uniform and throws on flannel pajama pants; a homemaker strips off her ‘Mom’ jeans and practical sweater to find lacey lingerie in her closet. No matter who we are by day, we can be whatever we want at night in our choice of pajamas.

Pajamas are made for maximum comfort and today’s womens’ pajamas come in so many unique and fun varieties that every woman can find pajamas that match her personality and mood. Feel fun and funky? Don a pair of cartoon pajamas. Feel sexy? Try a classic nightgown or lingerie. Looking for pure comfort? Don a funky tank top and boxers.
Women are many things to many people…but we are individuals, too. It is no wonder all women love pajamas!

For moms and girls who love pampering themselves this Valentine’s Day by wearing matching pajamas, nightgowns, robes, slippers and spa bath wraps, these incredible items can be found at Footsteps Clothing in the Bed and Bathwear section www.footstepsclothing.com/Categories/cat_bedbathwear.aspx

Jen Varner and Amber Lipson are both Triangle moms that own and operate thriving businesses from their homes. Both moms make it work with very different outlooks on family time, raising their children and work/life balance.

Jen is an entrepreneur who founded a successful online maternity store before moving on to help other women who want to own an at-home business through her consulting business PureEcommerce (pureecommerce@yahoo.com). Jen manages to combine her family life of husband and three young children and business while keeping her kids at home with her. How does she do it? Find out when we interview her below.

Amber is a Certified Public Accountant and former Senior Manager at a Big 4 public accounting firm, writer, columnist and founder of her at-home online mother-daughter boutique, Footsteps Clothing (www.footstepsclothing.com). She has always separated her worklife and family time and chooses an out-of-home daycare provider. Amber is mom to eight-year-old son, Jarod and five-year-old daughter, Brooke.

Read how Amber and Jen, both successful at-home business owners, make their work and family life balance:

Childcare:
Amber – I choose to distinctly separate my work and family life. When I’m at work, I want to focus on it without distraction. But, in the same manner, when I’m with my family, I don’t let work encroach into that time either. My children have always been happy and well-adjusted at the quality daycare we choose for them. They are content to play with friends and engage in activities all day long that I couldn’t provide for them at home while trying to get work done.

Jen – I am able to multi-task and do many things at once. I can be typing up emails or on the phone to a customer while pouring milk and playing CandyLand. For my children and I it is important that I be their caregiver and that they be home with me. When I have to run errands for my business, I often combine it with something fun for my kids, like including a stop for ice cream.

Work Issues:
Amber – Now that my kids are both in elementary school, I work like a fiend from 8:30 to 4:00. I love that I can be home for them as they get off the bus and have their after-school snack ready. This is something I never had as a child and I enjoy doing it for my kids. I don’t work at all in the evening – that is my quality time with my family. But, after everyone is tucked snugly into their beds, I am back at it and often work until after midnight.

Jen – I work all day. Not exclusively, of course, but I am always doing two things at once, minding my kids and thinking about my business. My kids are used to Mommy always working and talking on the phone, but they know I am always there for them.

Getting it all Done:
Amber – Sometimes I find myself doing dishes and putting in a load of laundry at crazy times. Usually, I try to get these household tasks in progress while my kids are eating breakfast or playing together. But, many nights I can be found packing lunches and folding laundry into the wee early morning hours!

Jen – Organization. That’s how I do it. Planning what needs done for the next day and making sure everything is where is needs to be. Otherwise, I fear our lives would spiral into chaos.

Prioritization:
Amber – It’s easy to say ‘family comes first’ because of course, it does. But, doesn’t running a successful business and earning money for them also important? And that’s where the line for me gets fuzzy. Pretty much everything I do is for my family (even taking time out as I am a much ‘nicer’ Mom after a lunch outing or getting my nails done) so it is difficult to draw a line.

Jen- I agree with Amber that family comes first. For me and my family, that means begin together as much as possible and doing things together as a family unit.

Being a Role Model for Kids:
Amber – This is very important to me. I want my daughter and son to see me working hard but also able to play and relax and have fun. I didn’t have this balance for so many years and I want my kids to learn that there is more to life than work, work, work. But, at the same time, it is important to work hard. I hope that if they see me doing both, this will instill in them the work ethic and life balance that took me 30 years to discover!

Jen- I want my kids to be self-sufficient, well-balanced people who can do for themselves and not have to rely on anyone else for the things they want out of life. As a younger woman, all I wanted out of life was to get married and have children. As I matured, I was compelled by my entrepreneurial spirit and my family gave me the support to try my ideas. I hope my ambition and desire for family and an identity of my own is something my children recognize and enlist in their own lives someday.

Asking for Help:
Amber – I am not too proud to ask for help. I see some women who think they need to do it all themselves and I don’t understand it. When I was pregnant, if someone would have offered to pick me up and carry me to the refrigerator for a drink, I would have let them. I have a cleaning service to help with the house and my husband helps out a tremendous amount. When things get overwhelming, I enlist the help of grandparents and family in the area. I’ve even been known to fly my mother in from Pittsburgh in a crunch!

Jen – I don’t have family in the area and feel a strange (and often irritating) ownership of my house and its state of being. I don’t like to have others in my house to help clean – it makes me feel as if I’m slacking. It gets overwhelming at times, but we keep it together as a family. My husband and kids pick up for themselves and we all have specific tasks to keep the house running smoothly – (even my 2-year-old has responsibilities!).

How do You Feel About Each Other’s Choices?
Amber – Jen and I are neighbors and good friends. We don’t judge each other even though our perspectives are worlds different. We often joke and sympathize with each other about the challenges each of our choices presents. We are both loving, devoted Moms doing what we think is best for our kids. I would be a frazzled yelling machine if my kids we’re home all day and I were trying to work. Jen would be tormented with guilt at putting her kids in daycare. We do what works for us, we don’t judge and we encourage other moms to do what’s best for them, too.

Planning a Mother-Daughter Spa Night can be one of the most special times that you share with your daughter. Here are some tried and true tips to make your night truly sweet:

· Talk it Up – Talking about your special night with your daughter and watching her excitement grow is as much fun as the event itself. Plan your special night when there is little chance that your plans will change or that you will be interrupted. Carve out at least a solid hour in the evening.

· Get the Goodies –Purchase some simple, inexpensive props during your next trip to the store such as scented candles, bubble bath, scented lotions and some glittery nail polish. Let her choose all the scents and colors. She’ll not only be thrilled to be consulted on these big decisions, but she will be itching to get into the tub.

· Mom, NO Multi-tasking! – This time is just for you and your daughter – an uninterrupted slice of solitude where girls can just be girls. This means: no answering the phone, no checking email, no tucking laundry into the dryer, no tidying up the bathroom. Get all those tasks done beforehand so you can concentrate only on your daughter.

· Fill the Tub – Fill the tub extra high and generously scoop in bubble bath. Who doesn’t feel like a princess immersed in a tub brimming over with bubbles?

· Light the candles – Dim the bathroom lights. Light those scented candles she picked out as the tub is filling. By now the entire bathroom should smell sugary sweet.

· Relax – Wash each other hair, loofah your daughter’s back, put your feet up and close your eyes. Show her that it’s okay to take a moment time out for herself. Self-pampering is a difficult concept for most Mom’s – perhaps if we were taught at an early age that it’s okay, we might not feel so stressed and overtaxed!

· Listen to her- Let her tell you the important events of her day while she has your undivided attention. My daughter tells me all sorts of things about her day during spa night that we never seem to find time to talk about during the after school madness of dinner, homework and bedtime tasks.

· Wrap yourselves up – Coat yourselves in scented lotion and wrap up in matching Mother-Daughter Microchenille Robes or matching Minky Dot Spa Bath Wraps found at www.footstepsclothing.com. Bring out that glittery nail polish she selected and paint each other’s toenails and fingernails.

You and your daughter will cherish this special time together and she will be begging for the next Mother-Daughter Spa Night!

The future is shaped by the toys our children play with today. Whether we realize it or not, our children are expressing themselves–their interests, fears and talents–through play. As parents, our job is to watch and listen and encourage them.

Here are three case studies of our children’s toys and how their play is already impacting the future:

· Four-year-old Emma dons her junior doctor scrubs and her play stethoscope. She gently assures her doll that her shot won’t hurt and that she is being very brave, just as Amanda’s own mother has assured her. Instead of feeling afraid, Amanda is now in control as the doctor. Discovering that she has the ability to make her dolls (and someday other children) feel safe and protected, Amanda begins her interest in science and the human body.

· Six-year-old Aaron’s musical talent was first unearthed as a preschooler while playing with his toy piano he got for Christmas. For his birthday he begged for a guitar, a drum set, and a keyboard. Now, Aaron hones his natural abilities discovered through toy play with real piano lessons, vowing someday to play in an orchestra in front of hundreds of people.

· The parents of five-year-old Josh were amazed at the creativity he displayed when creating elaborate stories for his puppet characters in his puppet theater. Josh spent hours developing intricate plot lines and quirky characters. His parents started writing his stories down. Josh proudly exclaims that someday he wants to become an author and have his stories in the books he sees in bookstores.

The future starts now…so lets PLAY!!!

You’ve seen it on ABC’s Good Morning America, you’ve heard that Rosie O’Donnell from The View loves it, you’ve seen it in fashion magazines – Mothers and daughters are showing their pride in each other like never before by hitting the town in matching and coordinating outfits. Why is this trend so hot right now? Here’s why:

· Mothers are ‘younger’ and daughters are ‘older’. Moms still read the same fashion magazines as they did before they attained Mom status. Today’s Moms are often health conscious and fit; they look and feel young and refuse to abide by outdated societal fashion guides to ‘dress their age’. Bombarded with mass-marketing fashion magazines and the fashion attention their TV icons receive, young girls are starting to attain a fashion consciousness at an earlier and earlier age. This brings mothers and daughters closer together on the spectrum of fashion trends more than ever before. The boundaries between the generations have shifted and overlapped, rendering everyone virtually the same age in ‘fashion’ years.

· Mothers are hip, stylish…cool. Where daughters in the past may have shied away from anything remotely similar to their mothers, rolling their eyes and proclaiming their moms hopelessly fashion challenged, that is not the case today. Many daughters look to their own mothers for their sense of fashion, mimicking their style, so that Moms and daughters today are often wearing the same styles! Proof of this can be found in college blogs written by girls proclaiming their fashion compatibility with their mothers and even attaching photos of mother and daughter in matching dresses for the world to view. Today’s Moms dress their babies, toddlers and primary schoolers in designer ‘mini me’ versions of their own clothes.

· Moms and daughters shop together….and enjoy it. This tradition is certainly not new, but where mothers might have had to drag their daughters kicking and screaming to the malls to shop for clothes, this is not longer the case. Shopping for clothes with Mom is a treat, a delight, a time to be together and bond over something both are passionate about. Proof can be seen nearly every week in paparazzi photos of famous Moms shopping with their daughters. Even Madonna and her daughter engage in elaborate mother-daughter shopping trips to Harvey Nicks and Harods to foster their posh fashion sense.

· Mothers and daughters LIKE each other. What Mom doesn’t secretly love it when her little girl raids her closets, trying on her dresses, jewelry and shoes exclaiming, “I want to be like my Mommy!” Any Mom who is bursting over with pride for her daughter enjoys showing her off and what better way to say “Here she is and she’s mine!” than to dress her in a matching outfit. The increased availability of trend-following mini-me children’s wear make it easier than ever before to follow seasonal and fashion trends for mother and daughter.

Hip matching mother-daughter clothes, accessories and cool New Mom gifts can be found at www.footstepsclothing.com

Forget about the stresses of mountainous holiday baking, visiting in-laws, and frenetic gift shopping, pregnant women at the holidays have much more to bemoan about – what to wear to the holiday parties! Whether you’re in your first trimester and barely bulging, or you’re due any minute and bursting at the seam, you can still look spectacular at holiday office parties, formal dinners and family gatherings. Being pregnant at holiday time is a magnificent reason to celebrate and the guidelines below will help you to choose the most flattering holiday dress for your pregnancy stage and body type:

• Barely protruding first and second trimester – If you’re looking to show off your growing belly and stave off those ‘chubby’ rumors, choose a dress style that maximizes rather than minimizes your growing belly with a tight-fitting style, high waistline and plunging neckline. If you’re looking to minimize your growing belly for as long as possible, choose a slim fitting A-line dress that will unobtrusively drape over your belly without appearing tent-like.
• Baby weight is all in front – If you look like you’ve just eaten a basketball, the most flattering holiday dress style for you is a calve-length, slimming dress with plenty of extra fabric in the front. For those lucky women that have escaped excess baby weight in their thighs and legs and ankles, a shorter, mid-thigh length dress style is sexy and elegant for holiday gatherings. A busy pattern will distract from the roundness of your belly.
• Baby weight is in front, sides, hips and thighs – For the woman whose body has distributed the baby weight throughout her middle regions, the most flattering style of holiday dress is a mid-length two-piece ensemble. Choose a dark color for a slimming look. Another option is a spaghetti strap or halter-top style that cinches directly under the bust, accentuating the bustline and leaving the rest of the dress to flow over the body.

What better time to celebrate your pregnancy than the holidays so stop stressing about the perfect dress and celebrate!

Mothers and daughters have been baking together for eons…but it’s never been this fun! Follow these easy tips for delicious holiday memories:

Talk it Up – Early that morning or for a few days beforehand, talk it up with your daughter. Tell her how much fun baking together will be, how much you are looking forward to your special time together. By baking time, her little fingers will be itching to get into the dough.

Mom: Chill Out – The most important preparation is for Mom to RELAX. Carve out time for baking where you are not multi-tasking. That means no phone, no eye on the news, no doing dishes, no laundry. This time should be all for her.

Dress for Success – Put on cool, loose clothing and don’t forget your matching baking aprons. Perfect mother-daughter aprons for baking are the Kitchen Queen and Kitchen Princess aprons found at www.footstepsclothing.com.

Make the Mood Festive – Put on your favorite holiday CD or a radio station playing Christmas tunes and blast the holiday cheer. If that isn’t enough mood ambience, try singing holiday songs with your daughter as you bake!

Find Her a Workspace – Little girls need lots of room to work. Set her up at the kitchen table or a countertop. Try to avoid having her perch on the counter or anywhere near the oven.

Let Her Do All the Work – Make your daughter feel as if she is the master chef by letting her scoop the flour, crack the eggs, pour the oil, mash the butter and stir it all up.

Make a Mess – That’s right – make a mess! Don’t worry that she’s spilled mounds of flour all over the floor or dropped an egg into Dad’s shoe. Clean up can be done later so don’t spoil your fun by worrying about it now.

Decorate ‘till you Drop – Go bonkers on purchasing decorations such as colored icings, sprinkles and candies. Set them all out in easy reach for her and let her create any design she likes. Even if you can barely tell there is a cake beneath the sprinkles, she will be so proud of her creations!

Taste Test It! – Both Mommy and daughter should taste test all gooey batter and finished baked goods. Don’t be afraid to stick your fingers in there. Mommies and girls agree this is the best part!

Editor’s Note: Mothers of sons, don’t despair! Baking with boys is fun, too… just follow the steps above.