Are you still trying to unload the uneaten Halloween candy when Easter rolls around? If so, then you must take note of these clever tips:

• Birthday and Holiday Gift Wrapping – Do you end up spending a small fortune every year on gift-wrapping? My kids and I like to create our own by wrapping birthday or holiday gifts in plain paper or purchasing plain gift bags at the dollar store. I then sit the kids down with a pile of candy and some glue and let them at it. Glue the candy onto the wrapping/bag still enclosed in its wrapper for a treat as well as a gift or unwrap the candy for a colorful, creative, non-edible wrapping. The recipients will love this unusual packaging, the kids take pride in their efforts and (my favorite part) this activity keeps the kids happy and quiet for hours!
• Decorate Cakes and Desserts – Do you bake a lot of cakes, pies or cookies, especially around the holidays? If so, then use all that Halloween candy as decoration or bake it right into the treat. My kids love to decorate cakes with their candy: M&Ms, Skittles and licorice are the best items to create words and greetings while mini-candy bars and jelly treats make a tasty and creative border. Use those leftover M&Ms and Hershey’s kisses instead of store-bought chocolate chips to bake right into your holiday cookies.

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These are the words that my five-year-old daughter said to me the other night with adamant conviction. At first, I attempted to patiently explain to her that this is something that all parents do and as unpleasant as it is, we do it anyway. She responded: “Well, I am not going to change diapers, no way.”

So my response to her was simple “In that case, here is my wish for you – that you experience everything that I have.”

Of course, she wanted to know what I meant by this, and not some flim-flam round about theory either. She wanted specifics. So I told her:

• I hope that someday you spend hours upon hours squashed into a tiny bathroom, perched on the floor, while your potty-training son holds you hostage on whether or not he will decide to ‘make’ in the potty. And when you can finally take no more and remove him from his throne, your son immediately, upon three seconds of putting on his diaper, ‘makes’ in the diaper, requiring that you now not only change the diaper, but admit that the hours you spent on the bathroom floor were about as useful watching paint dry.
• I hope that you take your family to a restaurant and, when your child has to use the public toilet, something goes so terribly awry that you willingly toss the child’s underpants into the garbage, determining that your dignity is worth the price of a new pair.

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When did planning a kids’ birthday party become such an awesome task? I remember growing up celebrating a birthday with a couple close friends, a cake and a song. But, today, parents have overwhelming options including gargantuan inflatable jumping contraptions, elaborate gymnastics, baseball and soccer parties, endless options for theme parties, live ponies and magicians.

It’s just a kid’s birthday party, everyone assures me, but it’s not just a party – it’s my child’s birthday party and it has to be fun-filled, action-packed, once in a lifetime, never to be forgotten. In other words…perfect!

I have a seven year-old boy and a five year-old girl, so on twelve separate occasions, I have obsessively filled and refilled, counted and recounted goody bags, fretted over the contents of piñatas, pestered bakery personnel over birthday cakes, purchased elaborate balloon-blowing machines, panicked over clever invitations and snapped at family members for no reason except that I had buckled under the crippling weight of ‘birthday party stress’. From trial and error and a near stomach ulcer, I have gathered some tips on how to plan a fun, simple child’s birthday party…and enjoy it: (more…)