“Growing Up Organized: A Mom-to-Mom Guide”

I recently spoke to Professional Organizer Lea Schneider author of “Growing Up Organized: A Mom-to-Mom Guide.” Following is our conversation:

Betsy: In regards to children, what are the benefits of becoming organized in the home, and what negative effects have you witnessed as a result of disorganization?

Lea: Being organized is a stress-reducer. Our stress from daily events, like not being able to get everyone out the door on time, to losing the homework handout in counter top clutter, to trying to locate the missing cell phone or get dinner on the table when no one has made it to the store, creates one cranky parent. When the house is disorganized and parents are cranky and exhausted as a result, I imagine it is harder for any child to be sweet, compliant and happy. Being organized can help home life run smoother.

Betsy: Do you think it is easier or harder to keep things organized as a mom of young children now or twenty years ago?

Lea: One excuse for disorganization is the lack of time. Today, a mom of young children finds her time more consumed by technology. Working from home, checking emails, grabbing the cell phone or even just meeting up with friends on a social networking site takes some of the time that could be used to stay organized.

Betsy: What organizing problems are unique to this generation?

Lea: I’m not sure what generation you are referring to but in general our society has seen changes from mobility. We move for jobs. We hope to retire and move where it pleases us. We get a divorce and start over. We buy “starter homes” and dream of moving to a bigger one…someday.

With each move, we often acquire more things, furniture, accessories and bigger closets to hold our increasing wardrobes. As we get more things, so do the children. They have so many more toys, clothes, books and gadgets than previous generations dreamed of having. The more things you have, the more time you spend trying to organize those things and the more time spent wondering why you can’t get it all done.

Betsy: In your book, “Growing Up Organized: A Mom-to-Mom Guide,” I loved your chapter on how to attack the kids bedrooms. My daughter is ten years old and I find I still have to nag her to keep her room clean and organized. Do you think there is ever an age when we as moms should just allow the kids to live in filth in their own space if that is what they want?

Lea: You can be clean and disorganized. You can be dirty and disorganized. You can be dirty and organized. The two words mean different things.

Let me start by saying that it is not okay by me for my kid to live in a pigpen and for me to clean it up. Period.

Being organized is a measure of responsibility while clean means clean. Clean means the room is dusted, vacuumed, the trash is taken out, the sheets are changed and you won’t find a week’s worth of snack dishes under the bed.

I think that beyond the age of ten, a child who is organized with their schoolwork, chores and other activities, is capable of making their own decision about how organized or messy they wish their room to be. (You can make a shut-the-door rule.)

But along with that right, comes responsibility. I don’t think that they have the right to decide how clean they want their room to be. Set a standard for what cleaning chores you expect done and how often she is to do them. As long as she meets those standards, the room is hers. But, it is hers to not only keep messy but it is hers to vacuum, change the sheets and the other chores that you expect done. When a kid is old enough to start stomping their foot and saying “But it is my room” then they get the chores with the privilege.

Betsy: Do you find it better to purge through toys with or without the help of your children?

Lea: You should sort toys with your child but in an age appropriate and attention-span appropriate way. For example, a four-year-old is probably not ready to tackle a room full of toys by themselves. It would be beyond their skill to know where to start and beyond their attention span to stick with the task. However, a four-year-old might help you sort one mixed tub of toys into types – doll clothes, building blocks, crayons and so forth. Having them help you with portions of the toys and in small intervals is how you teach them. As they are older, they can do more.

Cleaning up and sorting toys with your child teaches them organizing skills. It teaches them time management, respect for property and personal responsibility for space and belongings. It teaches them compassion for others when they choose toys and books to give to charity. Do it with them. Don’t do it for them.

Betsy: What is the most common question asked to you by moms, and what is your advice for that question?

Lea: It’s the one you asked. What should I do about my child’s disorganized messy bedroom?

Children, and even teens, are not capable of doing a giant room overhaul alone. They have no experience in sorting into keep, donate, and trash. It’s very difficult for them to decide if they will need something again, if the clothes still fit properly or if it is okay with you to throw something out. You need to teach them the critical thinking skills involved in organizing. They will learn by doing it with you, not you doing it for them, unless they are a very young child. You’ll always need to be seasonally involved in a hands-on work session with your child. The daily or weekly clean-up should be their job, given out in age appropriate assignments.

Betsy: What are some of your general guidelines for setting chores around the house?

Lea: Someone needs to do them or the alternative is to move out and start over! Children learn how to be organized, how to practice time management, household skills and respect for their parent’s time and property by doing chores.

Guidelines:

· Choose age appropriate tasks.

· Be consistent. Don’t ask for two chores this week and 25 next week.

· Have variety. Mix it up. If you assign your child one chore, like emptying the dishwasher daily, you’ve only taught them one skill.

· Parents need to participate too. When everyone in the house heads off to do a few chores, it is pretty hard to complain how unfair it is!

Betsy: Although I am an organizer, I have to take the time to purge and organize my own space. I especially dislike dealing with my husband’s clutter (tools, clothing, etc) because I have limited control over the situation. What spaces do you dread organizing in your life?

Lea: When the photo shop clerk says “Double prints are free,” I cringe. I certainly don’t want two of them. I don’t want to deal with one. I dislike organizing photos. I love to have photos but I am not the least interested in making scrapbooks or photo albums.

Betsy: Despite my last statement about my husband’s clutter, he really is generally very neat and tidy. What do you suggest if the Dad in the household has a major clutter/hoarding issue?

Lea: Hoarding is a serious issue and is actually a medical diagnosis. If a family member is a hoarder, their amount of clutter can impact a family’s health, both physical and mental, as well as their safety in the home. If you have a family member with a hoarding issue, begin your search for help with your family physician.

Betsy: Have you always been organized?

Lea: Yes. As a small tyke, I drove my mother nuts by always putting away her shoes. She might take them off by the door and when she returned to slip them on they would be gone. (I probably drove her nuts in other ways but that’s material for another article!)

Betsy: Why did you decide to become an organizer?

Lea: A friend, tired of the waste, asked me to help her organize her leftovers in the fridge. Seriously. Another friend wanted attic help. My mother-in-law wanted help with closets. My sister wanted me to help my grown niece with her wardrobe. My parents wanted help downsizing my aunt. When people start wanting to buy you plane tickets in order to make use of your skills, it’s a good time to think about it as a career change. Best part of this job is when I get paid, I also get hugged!

Betsy: Your book is light-spirited, jam packed full of useful information, and very easy to relate to. Who do you think will most benefit from reading your book?

Lea: Thanks! If you are a mom, and you fall into bed every night and think “Maybe I’ll catch up tomorrow,” then this book is for you.|

Professional Organizer Lea Schneider, the author of Growing-Up Organized: A Mom-to-Mom Guide. (Amazon.com $14) Her organizing advice has appeared in Woman’s Day, Natural Health, Better Homes and Gardens Kid’s Rooms magazines, and in numerous websites and newspapers around the country, from The Columbian in Washington State to the Pensacola News Journal in Florida. In 2008, she was the Grand Prize Winner of the Rolodex Office Makeover Challenge. Her company, Organize Right Now, provides organizing assistance online using a team of expert professionals. For more information, visit www.organizerightnow.com.