Next year my husband Scott and I will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary. A few of my friends and I were recently chatting about tips to keep romance alive. As I was offering my suggestions, I immediately thought about how many of my tips for a happy sex life were actually centered on being organized. Now, I am certainly not implying that you should add “sex” to your check-off list for the day or week (or month if the case may be), but there are definitely things that you can do to help keep the spark alive, that actually fall under the realm of getting your life organized.
Time Management & Bedtime :
Often times we are just too tired for sex, because we simply are too tired, and at bedtime we are anxious for the bed, to sleep! Try to factor in time with your partner when you are scheduling your evening in your mind. Allow yourself just a bit of downtime before going to bed, and simply relax. In addition, make sure that you are getting enough sleep each night so that when evening comes you are not too exhausted.
Family Chores:
Get your family involved in the chores outside the bedroom, so sex does not feel like a chore inside the bedroom. The entire burden of getting the house cleaned and organized should not be on one parent’s shoulders. Not only is it a great help to you, but remember that teaching them to be self-sufficient is one of our most important responsibilities.
Meal planning:
When your kitchen is organized and you take a few minutes a week meal planning (which actually saves tons of time and money), you are often more apt to eat correctly. Take your vitamins and make sure to eat foods with adequate amounts of such things as vitamin A, vitamin B complex, vitamin C, vitamin E, zinc, and others. I often wonder if we women have such healthy sex drives when we are pregnant in part because we are taking such good care of ourselves with taking our vitamins and eating correctly.
Make Exercise a Part of Daily Life:
There are many reasons that you should try and schedule exercise into your daily schedule. Not only does it get your hormones revved up, but it is also a great stress-reliever. You don’t have to join a gym or purchase expensive equipment, just try and make exercise a part of everyday life by walking, swimming, or running outside with the kids.
Prioritize:
Let’s face it, we simply cannot have it all or do it all. Be careful to not get overwhelmed with life by placing the important things at the top of the to-do list and allowing those others to fall back a bit. Remember to make your partner at the top or at least near the top of the list!
Schedule Date Nights:
What types of things did you do before you had children? Remind yourselves who you fell in love with in the beginning of your relationship. It does not have to be expensive or take tons of planning. Take advantage of willing teenage neighbors and Parents Night Out programs at your local recreation center.
Keep Work Out of the Bedroom:
Work does not just mean career/paper work; it can also be family bills, laundry, toys, etc. Anything that will cause you stress, can often ruin the mood. Not to mention, if you can’t see your partner in your bed behind the piles of clutter, you may forget he is even there!
Making little changes in your daily life can have huge implications on not only your life but the life of your entire family. Now, the question must be asked: how important is sex to the marriage? This is truly something that you and your partner need to discuss together. Schedule a date night and find out!
Please share your ideas with the other Clever Parent readers!
Betsy
By Betsy on 09/11/08 in An Organized Life, Clutter Busting, Columns, Sex After Parenthood
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