Good Night. Sleep Tight! Or . . . How to Put Your Child to Bed in Under Three Hours

The age-old battle rages on, doesn’t it?! I can remember when my sister and I were young mothers and we were visiting her and her family on our vacation. I was in awe of how her children “just went to bed” when it was bed time! They actually went to bed . . . and stayed there. Then they went to sleep and we never heard a peep out of them! Wow! I was so impressed!

I must admit, I thought they should have had a bed-time story, and a drink of water, and a kiss good night, and then to be tucked in and hugged . . . and given another kiss good night . . . and maybe one last trip to the “potty.” Sound familiar? Needless to say, I learned a lot from that visit to my sister’s house.

Twenty some years later, she still gets high marks for her parenting. My sister has five children, and I have “only” two, so many of her parenting techniques were probably adopted out of sheer self-preservation! In any case, both of us had, and continue to have, very high standards for parenting. Her oldest son has been working in Africa with the Peace Corps. My oldest child just graduated from college with degree in Government and International Politics with a bunch of fancy concentrations and minors attached. We have different parenting styles and attitudes, but so far, all of our kids have turned out pretty well. I always say that happens in spite of our best efforts!

Bedtime. Most of us don’t even want to go there. How do you get kids to go to bed within a reasonable time frame? Then how do you get them to stay there?

Routine. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things – from my sister and others – about children’s bed time. As in every other area involving children, the most important thing is to establish a routine. Kids don’t like change. They want and need a routine so they know what is expected and what’s next. They also don’t like not having limits, contrary to all indications otherwise. In other words, they want and need you to be the adult!

Bath, brush teeth, story, drink of water, kiss goodnight. Whatever your family’s bedtime routine is, stick to it! If you don’t have a routine, establish one and tell the kids there are new rules for bedtime. Story time may take place in the child’s bed, or be rotated between the children’s rooms each night. Perhaps you have story time in the family room, all together on the sofa. This is a great time to snuggle and help your child and you unwind from the day.

Next, everybody gets tucked in. Monster checks may be required. I have one clever friend who gave each of her children a “magic” flashlight when they began to complain that monsters were in the closet or under the bed. She told them the monsters are afraid of the light, and if they turned on the flashlight, the monsters would run away. Their family “battery budget” did go up for several months, but their bedtime routine became a breeze.

Onesie. The important thing is to tell children that everything is a “onesie.” That means one story, one drink of water, one kiss goodnight. The first night the onesie rule is imposed will be the worse. Much crying may ensue. Your children will test you—repeatedly—especially if they’re used to several rounds of story, water, monster discussion, more water, etc. But if you ever plan to have a single evening of peace and quiet, with you and your children having a good night’s sleep, you must be strong.

Back in Bed. If they get out of bed, direct them back to the bedroom. (You will probably need to carry them back.) Tell them they may not get out of bed again. If they tell you they need to “go potty” again, tell them they may go one more time, after that if they need to keep going, they will wear a pull-up. In other words, counter all of their objections. Don’t argue with them. Just make it clear that you will not engage in hours-long debates or arguments.

Don’t scream. Don’t threaten. Just keep putting them back in their room. It will work, and it will be worth it. Be strong, and you will prevail!