One of the things I constantly stress during my group coaching sessions with moms is the importance of taking care of yourself. When you take care of yourself, you are in a better position to take care of your family’s needs. This simple analogy demonstrates my point, when you are on an airplane the flight attendant says “in the event of a loss of air pressure place an airbag over your mouth and nose, then secure the airbag over your child’s mouth and nose.”
In one of my groups a mom noted, “There are basically two kinds of moms, a mom that takes care of herself, dresses cute, wears makeup, and the frumpy mom who wears baggy sweats, no makeup, and rarely takes the time to do anything with her hair.” She admitted that she found herself turning into a “frumpy mom” because with the weight gain of having her baby, she didn’t fit into her cute clothes. Because she no longer fit into her cute clothes, she didn’t feel good about herself and stopped taking the time to put on makeup and do her hair.
This “frumpy mom” cycle is all too common. The result of not taking care of yourself can lead to depression, isolation and low self-esteem. The solution to reclaiming your self to feel beautiful and sexy again is really simple and doesn’t require a complete overhaul, in fact it starts by doing small things you did prior to having your baby. Let’s call them baby steps to a beautiful you.
Begin by dressing pretty underneath by wearing attractive lingerie. Take a few extra minutes to put on clothes that fit you right (there has to be something in your closet that you can wear!) and comb your hair and put on a little makeup. Next make an appointment to get a haircut or get a manicure and or pedicure—you deserve this! When you do things to take care of yourself, you are telling your subconscious that you are valuable! Most importantly, find a network of support, like a playgroup, or better yet an exercise group such as a stroller workout class so you get double the benefits of losing weight and connecting with other women.
Once you stop the “frumpy mom cycle” and feel good about yourself you will have more passion in your relationship with your husband or partner. You will also notice an increase in your energy, an improvement in your mood, more patience with your children, and deeper connection with those you love most.
So Stop the “frumpy mom cycle”, start today…don’t delay! You are valuable, and you deserve to take care of YOU!
Sara Holliday, MFT, CPT, is a licensed marriage-family therapist, life and
fitness coach, holistic health practitioner, and mother of two. As an expert in pre- and
postnatal health and fitness Sara has appeared on numerous radio and TV
shows including Oprah & Friends Radio, Martha Stewart Living Radio, KABC,
NBC, and KTLA.
Fit by Sara, Inc. Copyright 2007
By Sara on 07/5/07 in Columns, Fit By Sara, Fitness, Health, Parents, Stylish Women
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July 5th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Yes! Yes! Yes! I couldn’t agree more. Confession time: Despite being a Life Coach myself (I really SHOULD know better) I was in a ‘frumpy mom cycle’ for the last few years. I’ve recently started coming out it by getting a new ‘do’, some new clothes & make up.
Part of what kept me trapped was that I never wanted to spend money on nice new clothes because “I’m going to lose the baby weight” — Well, after 4 years, it’s time to STOP calling it ‘baby weight.’ I recently decided that I needed to lose the weight because I LOVE myself, not because I can’t stand my fat thighs! Getting some new clothes was part of loving myself.
I have come to accept myself as a ‘curvy girl.’ Recently I heard someone says “Curves are the new black.” I’ve come to love my curves — so I bought some new clothes that compliments my body type. Stores that are specific for large women like Layne Bryant in the states, and Addition Elle in Canada — REALLY know how to make clothes that hit you in all the right places — so don’t be afraid to walk into a plus-size store.
So moms, if you think you’re going to hold onto the baby weight for while because your life is just to hectic to focus on losing it — invest in some clothes that will make you feel great.
The funny thing is, I bought new plus-size clothesmy for the summer, and I’ve already lost 10 pounds because I am treating myself better. I’m losing weight to be healthy and have more energy, instead of to look like a model — and changing my attitude really is making a difference. People are also complimenting me on how I look these days, which helps keep me motivated.
Go From Frumpy to Fabulous Mom! YOU CAN DO IT!
July 5th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Great Job Sarah Z.!! You’re so inspirational!!
July 5th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Right back at ya sista!