Five Simple Wayz To Easy School Dayz

The time comes in every parent’s life, whether you’re employed, self-employed, or unemployed, when you must release your firm grasp on the little one and watch him/her begin to exercise their autonomy and enhance their social skills. This era is called starting school (be it preschool, nursery school, or elementary school). If you’re anything like me, this time period could prove to be a difficult transition for you, the child, or even both of you. In my case the transition was one we both had to adapt to.

As a fulltime case manager and a self-employed business owner, I decided it was time for my 20 month old to go to nursery school, a place where I can drop him off early in the morning, have a family member pick him up on the evenings when I must work later, and feel confident that my son is learning the social skills appropriate for his age group. On the first day of school, I prepped my son, letting him know what a big boy he was for starting school. I left him in the hands of the a.m. teacher and quickly walked away before he could follow me. As I exited the school my chest tightened, my breathing became uneven, my eyes got teary, and my hands began to tremble. I was panicking over leaving my only child in an unfamiliar place. Needless to say, that was one of the longest days I’ve ever had to endure! In retrospect, I realize that there are several things parents like myself can do to alleviate the stress that starting / going to school can bring. For this reason I have come up with: Five Simple Wayz to Easy School Dayz:

1. Transition Into the Transition: Before leaving the little one at preschool / nursery school, try dropping in with him so that he can become acclimated with the environment, the staff, and the other children. Of course you will want to check with the facility’s director to see if this is permissible. Also, you will want to stay with your child during these initial visits. Like trying on new clothes or shoes, you want to make sure that the school is a good fit for you and your child’s needs. Once this has been achieved and you feel that your child is comfortable, let him fly solo, but gradually lengthen the amount of time he’s there until he’s able to stay a full day with no problem.

How does this help? The child is more at ease with the transition and you should now feel more comfortable with the school given the time you’ve both spent getting familiar. If you are more at ease, the child is more at ease for children tend to feed off of their parents’ vibes and emotions.

2. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!! – Express your feelings and concerns with the teacher and/or director. For me it is very important that my son gets the same (or close to it) encouragement and training he would receive at home. For example, my husband and I have been teaching my son to use his ‘big boy’ cup. When his teacher sent home a note requesting a sippy cup instead, I promptly responded in writing advising that I refuse to revert back to a training cup. I insisted that she continue to work with him regarding the ‘big boy’ cup as this is what he’s becoming accustomed to at home. Another issue we’ve faced is potty-training. We have been working on potty-training since 18 ½ months. So, when I realized that he was not being placed on the potty at school, I voiced my concern. Nursery school / preschool should reinforce developmental lessons that parents are teaching their children and vice versa. I believe in the old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. For this reason, it is important that what the child learns at school should mirror the lessons taught at home. But, if the parent fails to communicate their concern, the school will never be aware of what needs to be done.

How does this help? This strength in communication alleviates any confusion the child may have with regards to their developmental milestones. Additionally, you may find that you will feel better having assured that you and the school are on one accord, in a united effort to educate your child.

3. Volunteer! - If you have the time, volunteer it. If you don’t have the time to spend at your child’s school, you can help in other ways. For example, I own and operate a small event planning agency which houses a caterering division. I have recently volunteered to bring in treats for my son’s class, courtesy of my company, and/or do a simple cooking activity with his class one afternoon.

How does this help? This allows you to have an idea of what’s going on with your child at school. It also gives you a chance to be there first hand which is good for the child in that he/she may feel more comfortable in your presence. Also, it lets the school know that you have a real interest in your child’s education and the curriculum. This may encourage them to seek out your advice or assistance repeatedly in the future, especially if it is a small school like my son’s learning academy.

4. Surprise, Surprise – So, you want to know what’s really going on in your absence at your child’s school. Try doing a surprise visit. Several schools that we visited during our selection process have class rooms with hidden windows that allow parents to observe their children at play. Drop in at a time when the instructor is not expecting you. Try to choose a time that would not interrupt the child’s day should you feel the need to alert him of your presence. If your facility does not allow you to do surprise visits, you may want to reconsider schools. Sure, their rationale may be that your dropping in may prove disruptive to the flow of the child’s day, however my thought is that any place my son is, I should be able to check up on him…after all, this is your child, not the director’s! I stress using your judgment with regards to when you drop in. Also, just because you do a surprise visit doesn’t mean that you have to ‘visit’ with the child. Stop in, take a look, and return to work once you’re satisfied.

How does this help? You get a real, first hand look at what your child’s day is like, what his interaction with his teacher and classmates is like, and hopefully you get a sense of relief knowing that your precious one is progressing and doing well in his new environment. Surprise visits give you a real glimpse of what’s going on, as the school does not expect your arrival and thus will not be prone to put on a show to impress you. Plus, if something wrong is going on, you just may catch whoever is involved in the act!

5. Trust Your Instincts - If your child returns home with an unusual demeanor don’t ignore it. Read your child and trust your instincts. If you question his behavior and feel as it is related to his new environment check it out. Utilize tips two and four. Communicate your concern about your child’s behavior with his teacher and if you feel as if something is still wrong, do a surprise visit to see what’s really going on. As parents, especially mothers, we have a unique connection with our children. Thus we can often sense when something is wrong with our babies. Never ever ignore or question your instincts. Follow up on anything that causes you concern.

How does this help? This helps you stay abreast of any social or developmental problems your child may be experiencing and it also gives you peace of mind. Not knowing for sure what’s wrong with your child could be detrimental in the end. Of course, perhaps nothing at all could be wrong with your child, but wouldn’t you feel better if you knew this for sure?

Going to school will be a good thing for you and your child. Like any other milestone, it only takes a bit of adjusting to get through it. But, breathe (as someone should have instructed me) you will get through that first day, week, and year. In the end, practicing the Five Wayz to Easy School Dayz coupled with exercising patience will ease you through this transitional period in your lives. Trust me, if we can do it so can you….And that’s all I have to say.