Sex After Parenthood

The house is a mess, the kids are screaming, dinner is burning, and the phone is ringing. We have all had days like this and it is frazzling to the mind and the emotions. After we get married, it seems like life is just one big honeymoon. We are finally with that one person that makes us feel whole, and alive. A little while down the road we find out that the family will be complete with a child. Nine months later, our world is filled with late night feedings, a crying baby, dirty diapers, stress, and lack of sleep. Soon things change and she lifts her head and rolls over, not long after she is walking and talking. We get all excited and happy when she uses the “potty” for the first time. A few years later it is school and soccer games. In all this focusing on being a parent, where is the focus on a time for being a couple?

A recent survey tells us that 50% of women are unhappy with their sex lives. I asked five of my friends, who are also parents, if they are happy with the level of intimacy in their marriage, and all five of them said it could be better. We have come to know that love, intimacy and a strong friendship are the basis of a good marriage. When we become parents, we tend to put the intimacy on the back burner and focus on the children. As a military wife and mother to a one year old little boy, I am a strong advocate for women to remember that they are more than just a parent, they are part of a couple. The couple whose love and passion started the experience of becoming a parent in the first place. The stress of life and being a parent can take a serious toll on the personal relationship of a couple. Nora Ephron, a renowned novelist and screenwriter once wrote, “When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was.”

Parents lead extremely hectic lifestyles, between work and kids we rarely have time for each other any more. Parents get home from work, have dinner, do a little laundry, and by the time the kids are in bed and the kitchen is cleaned up it is nearly ten o’clock. Because of the way that women’s bodies react to stress, we aren’t comfortable in the bedroom when we are stressed and tired. For a woman to be completely comfortable and ready for sex, she has to feel sexy, relaxed, and desired. What many women don’t know is that there are ways to bring you from the stress of your day to the sensuality of your night with the use of some simple RomantaTherapy products including bath salts, massage lotions and candles to get you in the mood.

Another contributing factor is the fear of communicating anything even remotely taboo to your partner in the hopes that one day it will all just “work itself out.” Some women are afraid to suggest the use of toys because their husbands may think that they are being replaced. Studies actually show that the use of toys and other accessories such as edibles and lubricants can actually strengthen a marriage and the communication between the couple. Many people are interested in trying new things, but don’t know where to go or what to get. Many of them have found that answer through companies like Passion Parties.

Passion Parties is North America’s “premier and largest party plan company selling sensual products and romance accessories.” Passion Parties products include: edibles, sensual touch, lingerie and passion toys. Every month over 10,000 Passion Parties are held in the safety and comfort of peoples homes. There are now over 28,000 consultants of all ages and all walks of life that have taken advantage of the opportunity to help change women’s lives forever. They have inspired women over 18 everywhere to take charge and find ways to encourage love and romance back into their marriages.

If you would like some more information on the products, hosting a party, or becoming a consultant yourself, contact Shiloh at www.intimatepassions.net. Have a Passionate Day!

Do you have a question for Shiloh? Send it to her at info@cleverparents.com and she’ll reply in her new Clever Parents column, Sex After Parenthood.

See CleverParents-tv Vidcast #4 introducing the Sex After Parenthood column.