Clutter Busting: Scheduling, Teaching By Example and ‘No’ is not a bad word

Following a schedule, teaching by example. “No” is not a bad word…

It is very important to teach your child not necessarily by what you say, but also what you do. How are you with setting personal boundaries? Do you say yes when you should say no? Do you make time for the people and things that are most important to you?

What is a schedule and why do we need one? It is all about time management. In order to create a working schedule you need to come up with a list of priorities and then make sure where you designate your time so it is a reflection of your priorities. This can be a tricky concept to grasp. For example, let’s say the following is a list of your top priorities:

• Children
• Spouse
• Career
• Hobbies
• Friends
• Fitness
• Etc.

Just because your children are a top priority does not mean that you need to spend the majority of your time with them. Rather, the majority of the time you spend should be of a benefit not detriment to your children. Another example is if God is your #1 priority. This certainly does not mean that the majority of your day should be on bent knee in prayer! It simply means that you live the majority of your day in a pleasing way to God.

What is a priority?
From the Webster online dictionary: www.m-w.com/dictionary/priority

Main Entry: pri·or·i·ty
Pronunciation: prI-’or-&-tE, -’är-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
1 a (1) : the quality or state of being prior (2) : precedence in date or position of publication — used of taxa b (1) : superiority in rank, position, or privilege (2) : legal precedence in exercise of rights over the same subject matter
2 : a preferential rating; especially : one that allocates rights to goods and services usually in limited supply
3 : something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives

Now that we have established that a schedule is simply a time management tool to aid in setting realistic time limits in order of priority, it is time to help your child with their schedule. Sit down with him or her and come up with a list of priorities. I like the 3rd definition from the online dictionary. “Something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives.” This means that if schoolwork needs to get done, but the child wants to play a video game, school wins since it is higher on the priority list. Allow your child to trouble shoot ideas in which to get the priority things done. Find out together whether some things will have to be let go if the schedule will not allow for it.

Let your children see you make some of these difficult decisions as well. Allow yourself to say no, so they will give themselves the permission when a difficult situation arises in their life. “No,” is not easy to say. If you are asked to help out at a blood drive, even though you know it is a good cause, but realize that it will make you stretched too thin for that day…say, “I’m sorry, not this time.”

We hear all the time about peer pressure, but truly what it really comes down to is need for approval. If your child can see that you have boundaries and stick to them, it will teach them that it is ok to not say yes all the time…regardless of the situation. Live your life as a clear reflection of your priority list, and they will do the same.

Betsy