Ask Carrie: Lessons Learned From Flying With Small Children

Dear Carrie: What advice do you have for flying with small children?

Airplane travel. I vaguely remember the days of throwing a couple of magazines into whatever I was using for a carry-on and maybe a snack (or not, since in those days you were relatively well-fed on a plane). Those days are long gone in our family!

Looking back on it, I remember that flying with Lilly, our now almost-four-year-old, was a breeze. We had a couple of minor incidents, like when my husband realized an hour into our first (five-hour) flight that her diaper had leaked all over her clothes. She ended up flying out in a turtleneck and a diaper (very classy, I know) while the remainder of her attire dried on the floor below us. Thank heavens it was just wet. I got to learn my lesson gently that time. See, that was our first flight with a baby. I didn’t think about taking extra clothes, though I had enough entertainment to keep everyone on the plane busy for at least a couple of hours. Of course, everyone was already entertained because our child was standing in her seat half-naked – singing, dancing, waving. My husband quickly grew worried about the extrovert that appeared when the clothes disappeared, but that’s a whole different story.

LESSON #1: Even if you’ve flown with children numerous times with no clothing mishaps, take a change of clothes for each little person with you. Leave your People magazine at home (let’s be honest - when do you really think you’ll get to read it?), and use the space for some little pants and a shirt. Here’s a saying that’s really overused but entirely appropriate: “better safe than sorry.”
On that same flight, I learned that not all airplanes have changing tables. I never thought about that. Who designed those airplanes, anyway? My husband nearly died – and subsequently pretended not to know us - when I announced there was no room in that [darn] bathroom and I was changing her right there on the seat. On another occasion, the flight attendant kindly gave me blanket to drape over the toilet, but I was still grossed out and I banged Lil’s head. She wasn’t happy. Quite frankly, neither was I, though I did discover a new talent for changing diapers in really small spaces.

LESSON #2: If your plane has no changing table and you haven’t purchased all the seats in your little row (or your side of it), it might get a little rough. Ask the flight attendant for a blanket and do the best you can in that tiny lavatory.

The next year we made our annual Thanksgiving pilgrimage out to Phoenix. I thought we’d left in plenty of time, and it would have been plenty of time had we found a parking space anywhere near the airport. We ended up in a park & ride that may as well have been in another city. Long story short, we missed the flight by five minutes and ended up taking another one that night that got us into Phoenix at 1 am, which was 3 am our time. We then had a 45-minute drive to my in-laws’ house. Did I mention they had to drive to the airport at 1 am to pick us up? Whoops.

LESSON #3: Allow yourself plenty of time. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather sit in the airport another half hour (or longer) than turn into a completely frazzled mess because the security line is out the door. If you’re flying out of a big airport, prepare for long lines around holiday time. We were in line in Phoenix last year for over half an hour – just to go through security. It just doesn’t seem quite as bad when you don’t have a flight that leaves in 20 minutes.
My husband and I realized last Thanksgiving on our first trip with two kids that airport security is one of the most painful parts of flying. Imagine two adults, two children, four carry-on bags (three of which were stuffed), a stroller, a car seat, and who knows what else. Now imagine removing younger child (who cannot walk or stand on his own) from the stroller; collapsing it to go through security; taking the computer out from one of the carry-ons; taking shoes off; digging boarding passes and IDs out again; convincing older child it’s okay to walk through the security gate alone; etc. Then, after everyone passes inspection, you get to do most of the above again in reverse.
LESSON #4: Seriously, try not to pack more than what you really need. My husband would find me saying this very amusing since I still pack like I might not be able to get off the plane for a few days. Another thing to note – booster seats are not allowed for take-off and landing so don’t even bother taking one. We ended up checking ours on the way home this Thanksgiving so we wouldn’t have to carry it through the airports.

Trey and I have a joke every time we travel on Southwest, which doesn’t assign seats, that we’re going to board last so our children will have to sit with other people in the back of the plane while we kick it up front with adult beverages. Alone. Of course, we haven’t done it yet, so in the meantime we take full advantage of the “boarding with children under 5″ rule. If there’s only one perk to flying with little people, it’s getting on the plane first. This isn’t really that big of a deal when you have assigned seats, but if you don’t, this gives you some prime real estate on the plane. I staked out a spot in the “privileged” line behind the wheelchairs. Lilly and Reid sat on the floor coloring while we waited to board. My husband, mind you, was sitting with the common folk and reading the paper. He didn’t say it, but he thought my parking it in line that early was a little unnecessary. However, when we got on that plane, we had our choice of seats. We’re talking third row, both sides. Now that I’m writing this, I’m a little embarrassed that I get that excited about my seats on the plane. Next. (No real lesson there – just don’t be afraid to board early.)

All that said, we have not yet had a (child-related) experience that made us never want to fly again, at least not permanently. I’m sure we have it coming to us, but since we’re expecting it every time we go on a trip, maybe it won’t seem so bad.

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